Ding dong the Witch is dead

The Worst Mother in the Universe and her evil screaming child have vacated the building after only four months.

I don’t care to know why they’re breaking their lease so early. I’d like to think that my loud music, feet stomping and, “SHUT UPS!” ran them out. All I know is that there is nothing like the silence of a child-free house. I’m just disappointed I didn’t get to have very loud, inappropriate sex in our bathroom, which has a direct vent to their apartment. I was really lookin’ forward to that revenge tactic…

Currently Feeling: Only slightly worried. I’m probably overreacting.
Currently Anticipating: Getting out of this company!
Currently Loving: Curried chicken, onions and apples with yogurt sauce.

I’m coming out of the closet

I am slightly buzzed from wine this evening and have been cruising the Net while watching reality TV. (A favorite pastime of mine.) I happened upon a Facebook group titled, “I Judge You When You Use Poor Grammar,” which led me to a Web site that has cute little T-shirts available for order.

Because I’m thinking in the midst of a wine haze, a little because I often impulse shop but mostly because the shirt is SO ME, I ordered one.

I can’t wait to wear it around and openly judge everyone’s grammar.

Sometimes it gets really exhausting to be a Closet Grammar Judger.

Okthnxbai.

I feel driven, hear me roar

I’ve never been able to deal well with being bored. In fact, it’s safe to say that boredom is one of my least favorite human emotions. I think I used to (probably still do) drive my biological father crazy when I visited him in the Podunk town he lives in. One pizza parlor, one grocery store, one bowling alley and one theater that boasts documentaries on the Mt. St. Helen’s eruption every hour, were never my idea of a good time. “Can’t you just relax?!” he’d say when I wanted to go to dinner, shopping “in town,” or anything that got me out of the trailer he lived in on three acres in the middle of nowhere. Collecting caterpillars in a jar grew old after age 10. Life at my mom’s and life at my dad’s were always night and day.

Perhaps I learned it at a young age, but when I start to feel a little bored, I think about all the things I can do or change so I DON’T feel bored. This last part of winter has been so mundane, so I started searching for anything and everything to keep me busy. Now, I’ve suddenly found myself with quite the list:

• Teaching myself Adobe GoLive via two tutorial books that I bought off Amazon.com, so I can design my own portfolio Web site
• Assembling a portfolio to apply to the Academy of Art in San Francisco
• Beginning a pro bono copywriting project through the Taproot Foundation, where I will be copywriting a brochure project for Page Ahead—a local nonprofit advocating child literacy
• Two job interviews this week and continuously trying to push out three resumes and cover letters a week
• Staying after hours at work to spend a couple hours trying to finish Vanessa and Larisa’s uber-late, two-year birthday project I’ve been designing (it’s a surprise)

I feel DRIVEN to SUCCEED right now.

Currently Feeling: Nervous about all this WV application stuff coming through.
Currently Anticipating: The interview I have with a rad ad agency on Thursday.
Currently Worrying About: My boyfriend. I haven’t heard from him in nearly two weeks! Yikes.

Another single bites the bullet

Congratulations Winston and Tara Evans!

I brought out my boobs, just for you, to celebrate your day.

Feel special.

Writing is a whole way of life

During my lunch hour today, I was enjoying my rather hearty salad and reading an article I found on The Seattle Times titled, “‘Old Friend’ offers help with writing a memoir.” Since it is my dream to someday turn these 20-something ramblings—or perhaps what my life has to bring—into a memoir, I jumped at the chance to read advice on writing one. The author of the book, Natalie Goldberg, is a writer who considers herself an expert in the topic of memoirs. Her Q&A with The Times’ reporter contained some great advice that I’ll file away in the ole’ memory bank. When I reached the end of the interview, Goldberg said this:

“I don’t have to write, but I have to live as a writer. Receiving the world. Noticing some things. Having some time for dreaming. Caring about detail. Because writing isn’t just writing. It’s a whole way of life. It’s a way of seeing and caring. A desire to have intimacy for your life and for the world.”

That. That is me.

Out with February, Hello March!

Dear February and March,

I loathe you. You are the worst two months of the year. Nothing exciting ever happens in February—who actually looks forward to Valentine’s Day, even if you do have a significant other? And does anyone ever really think to him or herself, “Oooh! Leap year is this year! The only thing I’ve ever liked about you, March, is St. Patrick’s Day (heart!), and the downhill slope to longer days and a warmer spring.

Usually by the time the two of you come around, I’m so sick of the Seattle grey that I’m ready to move— your weather is cold, and your days are dreary, dark and boring. You also force me to realize how many winter pounds I’ve put on over the holidays. With the onset of spring and summer mere months away, and my pants fitting slightly tight, my hate for the two of you grows. I am obligated to kick into extreme workout and healthy-eating mode—boor ing! And you know what February? You snatched my boyfriend away this year and snowed so much that I missed my cabin weekend away to Leavenworth. Damn you!

Oh but March, you’re finally treating me right this year. You’re only one week away, and I can’t wait to bid February adieu. I am looking forward to wrapping myself in you, March. Not only have Sarah and I planned a fun girly party at our apartment (sex toys and fondue. That’s right. I said sex toys and fondue), but you will be delivering my boyfriend back to me. Oh, how I count the moments. To top off the gifts you are bringing me, I also have a girl’s night planned to see Mamma Mia at The Paramount, will finally be getting vacation and sick pay through work with possibly a significant raise, AND I will be taking a crazy and sexy little trip to Vegas.

If only you could be this good to me every year…

See ya February! And hello March!

Your Fair-weather Friend,
20-Something

Currently Feeling: Sexy in my new sparkly cardigan I bought last night.
Currently Anticipating: Seeing what this volunteer copywriting thing is all about tonight.
Currently Listening To: “Into the Mystic” by Van Morrison..over and over and over again. I can’t get enough!

I JUST BOOKED TICKETS TO VEGAS!!

I’m so excited!! I will be heading to Sin City with Baby Daddy and a group of my friends at the end of March. I’ve wanted to go back to Vegas ever since my first trip, right after turning 21. I fell in love immediately—I really don’t know anything better than a single destination that allows extreme partying, dancing, gambling and sunbathing for days on end. Unfortunately, I haven’t had the luxury of having work meetings there two or more times a year like a few of my lucky friends. Since I haven’t made it back in the last five years, I figure I’ve been more than overdue.

In the last week that I’ve been researching hotel and flight packages, I’ve realized that I’m slightly neurotic and very indecisive. I mean, I stayed up till 12:45 last night, researching package options, and still didn’t buy anything! I was, quite literally, losing sleep over booking a vacation. Doesn’t that seem like an oxymoron?

You name it—I couldn’t decide on it. Did I want to pay a little more for a little nicer hotel? Did I care that the pool sucked at that hotel? Did I want a Deluxe or Standard room at this hotel? Did I want to upgrade to a better flight, or take the cheaper flight and add on two VIP tickets to a nightclub? Should I book something super cheap and sorta lame, and save my money for entertainment, or should do we want to stay in the middle of everything? Aaaah!

Luckily, I have amazing friends who love me, even if all I harp on and on about for four days is HOW. STRESSED. OUT. I. AM. about booking a package to Vegas. God, really, Jeanna? Life could be so much more difficult. My wonderful friends have coaxed me through making decisions on our trip without the other half of my “our” here to give me the okay on vacation plans, such as purchasing $90 show tickets on his credit card. What’s a girl to do? I finally just closed my eyes and clicked “Proceed with Package” today on Expedia. I knew that if I really spent anymore time changing dates, checking different Web sites, and researching pools and rooms at each hotel, I was going to go quite crazy.

So, I opted for The Sahara—the most luxurious and spacious hotel in Vegas! Right. But, it is one of the most inexpensive hotels on the Strip. Even if it is a little old and more north than I would have liked, but the recently installed Monorail down the Strip solves that problem. Plus, the pool is pretty decent, and it’s one of the only hotels in Vegas with $3 Black Jack! Hello lover! Since it only cost us $300 each for flight and hotel (!!), I’m saving my money for VIP tickets to Tao nightclub and tickets to a fancy show—Le Reve at Wynn Hotel.

The last time I went to Vegas, I drove there with my boyfriend on $300 for the entire week. So, you could imagine there weren’t too many fancy dinners, shows or nights-out for us. I think opting for a crappier hotel, and splurging on the nightlife is a far-better option this time. Someday I might be able to actually see the inside of a hotel room at the Bellagio, MGM Grande, Venetian, etc. But right now, I’ll just live the pseudo four-star lifestyle…

Any restaurant, nightlife, or must-do suggestions, friends? (I still haven’t necessarily made up my mind between Le Reve and Stomp Out Loud.)

Currently Feeling: SUPER excited for that King-sized bed. Whoops. TMI?
Currently Anticipating: Getting this contract crap figured out at work—and hopefully a raise?!
Currently Loving: Shrimp cocktail and BLTs.

Love is in the air… well, for me at least

Happy Valentine’s Day!

I feel sorta silly happy today, which is quite the change from my usual complacent attitude in years gone past. I have to say, Valentine’s Day when you’re single really sucks. You can’t help but to feel slightly down about not having someone to spend the day with. Even if you’re completely satisfied and content with your relationship status, there’s just something about Valentine’s Day that puts singles in a 24-hour funk. Trust me, I’ve lived it for at least the last four years.

But, I guess life is always in a constant state of ebb and flow. And this year it’s my turn to have a special someone on Valentine’s Day—someone who’s gone above and beyond to make me smile. Not only did I receive a more than generous birthday present, which was supposed to be “half my Valentine’s Day present cause he wasn’t going to be here,” and a cute Valentine’s Day card in the mail (a couple week early), but I had a beautiful vase of red roses delivered to me last night. Baby Daddy is officially the first man to send me flowers on Valentine’s Day, which is all I’ve ever really wanted. To top things off, my phone rang late last night and his cell phone number in Dutch Harbor popped up on the screen. He finally arrived back in port last night after three weeks at sea. And boy have they been a long three weeks—no contact, nothing. Only two brief 15-minute conversations. I’ve felt distant and disappointed every time we hang up. It’s really hard to maintain a long-distance relationship when you can’t even talk to each other to stay up-to-date on the little things that happen daily. As cheesy as it sounds, it was just really nice to be able to wake up and hear his voice this morning. So, I get to talk to him all day today and for the next three days, and he’ll get to pick up his Valentine’s Day package and letters I’ve sent him. The timing couldn’t have been more perfect.

To round out my reasons for feeling silly happy—I’m spending tonight with a group of some of my very best friends, including a great friend who’s flying in tonight from L.A. All of us will be heading to Sunset Bowl in Ballard for inexpensive drinks, trashy karaoke, free bowling and cheap thrills. I’m very excited to celebrate with a group of people I love from the bottom—stretched to every inch—of my heart.

So, Happy Valentine’s Day, my dearest friends. If you’re feeling a wee bit down, read my post here, and it should uplift you just a bit. And if you’re feeling loved, well, there’s really no better feeling in the whole wide world.

Currently Feeling: SO relieved that Mike has already caught 2/3 of his fish quota and should be back early March instead of late March!
Currently Anticipating: Going out tonight with all my dates, and spending the weekend with big J and my lil’ sis.
Currently Loving: Being really cheesy and wearing red hearts and lipstick today.

I’d like to think this will all pay off someday…

I’m whoring myself out.

That’s right.

You knew it was only a matter of time.

I’m offering my writing skills up for free to the masses!!

I’ve been contacted to be a volunteer for the Taproot Foundation. I found a posting they had on Monster.com for a copywriting position they needed–volunteer only. In my obsession with breaking into the copywriting world, I applied to work for them for free. The commitment will only be three to five hours a week (supposedly), and I will be working on projects that will include copywriting for brochures, Web sites, reports and perhaps product copywriting. This will hopefully end up being the chance to gain copywriting experience that I’ve been waiting for…too bad it’s for zero income. I seem to be a magnet for nonprofit work. But, such is life.

This will either provide excellent clips for the online portfolio I’m creating to apply for the MAF in Advertising program at the Academy of Art in San Fransisco, or it will allow me to skip that 45K grad degree all together. (Although I’m still leaning toward the degree.)

I’m attending an orientation next week, and then will be able to start working on some projects. Hopefully this little volunteer endeavor I’m embarking on won’t include any more underage teenagers and strippers. I’m not sure that will do much for my portfolio…

Currently Feeling: Productive for the first time in months. Terrible.
Currently Anticipating: Tanning, pilates and Cashmere Mafia. It’s a low-key Wednesday.
Currently Loving: My plans for VDay tomorrow! But, I hope I get to hear from my boy too!

From Canned Food and Probably Back Again

Since for the most part I’m constantly trying to watch what I eat, I find it much more exciting now that I know how to make a few recipes and shop for tasty ingredients at the grocery store. Today I enjoyed white bean chicken chili I made in my crockpot last night, (recipe courtesy of good ole mom and listed below), with a walnut, dried cranberry, apple and chicken salad with raspberry, walnut and Gorgonzola dressing. That sure beats eating things like plain chicken, soup out of a can, a jar of spaghetti sauce poured over noodles, or boxed meals. Watching your figure is less boring or daunting when you’re actually eating stuff that tastes good AND is healthy…

Do you remember the days of grocery shopping in college, or when you first lived on your own? I went into that big grocery store and had NO IDEA what I was doing. For years I wouldn’t go grocery shopping until everything was gone in my cupboards except half a bag of instant rice and a box of pudding, and nothing was left in the fridge besides pickles and mustard. My grocery-shopping trip always ended up costing way more than what I could afford as a college student who made $350 every two weeks. And I still only bought boxed or canned stuff—Mac ‘n’ Cheese, Top Ramen, Au Gratin potatoes, Spaghetti O’s, Chef Boyardee Ravioli. I even went through a phase of eating green beans out of a can for lunch at work. It wasn’t that I was trying to starve myself—it was just easy and inexpensive.

Since college and moving out on my own, I’ve actually experimented with recipes, bought some cookbooks and even ask for practical things for Christmas like a crockpot, knife set and spice rack. (These things make cooking soooo much easier!)

My mom would like to think that this new foray into the cooking world will improve my chances with finding a husband and getting married. She’s totally a “cook for your man, and he won’t ever leave!” type of woman. I think she used to believe that she failed as a mother cause I wasn’t interested in cooking or cleaning—ever. She probably thinks now that I’m learning to cook, she’ll have grandchildren on the way soon. She’s been bugging me to pop out a couple grandchildren for her since 2002.

I suppose being able to cook for my significant other can’t hurt…But I sure hate to think that domesticating myself a bit more is leading me on the path of getting knocked-up soon. Cause learning to cook for myself is fun, but I imagine cooking for a family every night is a whole nother ball game. I’ll probably have to revert back to Spaghetti O’s and Chef Boyardee Ravioli. They say life always comes full circle, right? Enjoy that can of beans, kids!

Hey, look! It’s a printable recipe card for you! Just click on it…and print!

Currently Feeling: Positive about this workout program during the week at work. It’s so much easier to go home and not have to worry about it…and it’s free!
Currently Anticipating: Getting my Adobe GoLive tutorial books in the mail so I can teach myself how to create a killer Web site for my resume and portfolio.
Currently Hating: No Sex. Weeks, days, hours and months with no sex. Boo. Hiss.