Last night I attempted to shave my white fluffy kitty into a matte-free beauty.
Can I please preface this by saying that I already feel like the most horriblist, terriblist, no-good pet owner in the Whole. Wide. World., so no use to ridicule me in the comments. Yes, I should take the time to brush her out once a week to make sure her coat doesn’t tangle. But, it’s harder than you think. I can barely bring myself to have the time to shave my own legs once a week. (Kidding. Mostly.) I swear she grows a matte before I even have time to bat an eyelash.
Well, I’ve learned my lesson. Last night was horrible.
I don’t think Baby Daddy and I had any idea how much work it would be. I just thought I’d pick up a $19.99 hair clipping kit from Target, come home and make a few swipes here and there and voila! She’d be smooth and silky and not the mangy cat I’ve managed to let her become.
Oh no.
The night went something like Baby Daddy and I in a cloud of white fur, buzzers going, claws scraping, mournful meows, and chunks of hair slowly, slowly shaved off and floating all over the apartment and sticking to both our sweats until we were covered in white fur. We spent a good 45 minutes trying to make progress, and all I have this morning is a pissed-off Persian with two bald spots on the left side of her body.
“Shave her into a lion!” Sarah keeps pushing.
At this point, I’m just trying to keep her from looking like a cat with eczema and cancer.
Currently Feeling: Slowly used to having a boyfriend around again.
Currently Anticipating: VEGAS and 80-degree bathing suit weather this weekend!
Currently Wanting: This anxious job-transition time period to end.
Ever since I got my fluffy cat, I’ve had people telling me I need to shave her — and I know that in the summer, I may have to. But now I know never to try it myself.
And don’t shave her into a lion!! It’s so creepy when people do that. One of my best friends did that to her two short-haired cats last year….
Oh hell no. I’m firmly against the lion cut. My parents did it to our Himalayan cat, and he died a couple weeks later. I still stand by the fact that he died of embarrassment, and I now look at the lion cut as a bad omen.
If you need help give me a call to finish getting the matts out. I have grooming clippers at home and it will melt them away. Poor girl.—Jenny
Kindness, not force. Instead of shaving with extreme prejudice, maybe massage in some conditioner, or some Pantene products and a gentle wide-tooth combing afterwards to prevent matting. You know, like a perm in her hair or even a crazy weave with a New Edition Bobby Brown button on her sleeve. I mean collar.