I dress for the ladiezzzz

Today I’m meeting my new roommate for the first time. Sound weird? Not as weird as it was to live with someone I found on Craigslist after the friend from college I was living with bought a condo with her boyfriend and had to move out. I could go on for days and months about how annoying this chick from Craigslist was. But I’ll save you the details.

I recently asked Craigslist Chick to move out, and then I went on a search for a new roommate, sending out feelers to friends, family, acquaintances, long lost pals, etc. All I wanted was some sort of referral from a mutual friend, so I could ensure the next person would have something in common with me. Yah know, all I’m asking is that you don’t blast the Christian music station while you clean; have a cat that scoots its butt across my white carpet, leaving streaks; don’t creep all my friends out; have 200+ houseplants; or leave The Cosby Kids, floating in the pool all the time, making me do your dirty work. Pun intended.

(Okay, maybe I shared just a few details.)

The point of this post before that last little tangent was to tell you that I’m meeting my new roommate tonight for drinks, who is actually BFFs with a girl I hung out with all the time when I was single. The potential new roommate and I exchanged a bunch of emails back and forth, friended each other on Facebook and have had many a discussion about what works and doesn’t work with a roommate. (MAN, have I learned my lesson about what you need to establish BEFORE you move in). There’s a whole separate topic.

Anyway, I think she sounds great and seems super fun, and I feel like we’d have a lot of fun together, in addition to being great roommates, so I want her to like me. So, I painstakingly went through my closet this morning to pick out just the right outfit – cute, trendy, sassy, hip and with it – something that says, “I’m fun! You want to live with me!” I made sure I accessorized, just enough, and I didn’t roll into work with three-day-old bed head. As I rode the bus to work this morning in my sassy black-and-white, leopard-print bubble dress, black leggings, and cute new BCBG patent-leather, open-toed wedges that I recently bought at Ross for $35 (!!!), I thought to myself, “This is far more work that I’ve put into myself in a long time – I don’t analyze my outfits this much for my boyfriend!”

Which got me thinking, us girls, we don’t really dress for the guys. No sirree. We dress for other girls more than we dress for guys. The belt around the waist trend? Guys think it’s dumb. I’ve heard more than one say so. Uggs with short skirts? Heard more than one guy scoff at how idiotic that trend was. But we all still belt, and some of us once Ugged. (Although, I was never one of the Uggers). I’ve also been asked on more than one occasion, “Why do you care about your shoes, guys don’t pay attention to them?” You’re right, they don’t. And when you wear cute shoes, it’s never the guys that compliment you, it’s the girl who exclaims, “Ooooh! Cuuuute shoes!” that makes you feel good.

I care about looking good mostly for myself because I love fashion, and also because we all care a little bit about what we look like when we step into a room full of girls. What’s the first thing you do when you walk into a party or a bar? You scan the competition.

So yeah, gentlemen, we’re not always doing everything to impress you. Some of it actually is for the benefit of our own gender, or yah know, ourselves.

Currently Feeling: Like I have a bit of a nervous belly.
Currently Anticipating: Going to Solo tonight – it’s my current fav bar!
Currently Needing: Groceries. So bad. But I don’t want to buy anything before my vacation. I’m not even going to share what I scrapped together for lunch yesterday. It’s like being in college all over again.

Girls don’t want to be friends with girls who don’t like Twilight

You know what I think is hilarious?

This Twilight obsession, and how it’s completely normal for late 20-something girls to be going gaga over a book that was written for 12 year olds. But it is unacceptable for a girl to not really be on this whole Twilight bandwagon.

I know my feed counts will probably drop after this, and I’ll lose tons of blog readers just because I stated that I’m not really on board with this whole gig. (Gasp.) Hell, I’ve already been ousted by people in real life because of this. Girls don’t want to be friends with girls who don’t like Twilight. It’s a proven social experiment that I did for you. You’re welcome.

I attended a party last weekend, and two girls wouldn’t even LOOK at me cause I had previously stated that I thought the whole obsession was ridiculous. They didn’t even acknowledge my presence. Not a thing. All I have to do is say I don’t think Twilight is all that great, and I’m losing friends quicker than the girl in high school who slept with the popular girl’s boyfriend.

Except the latter would be more fun, in my opinion.

I tried to explain this to my boyfriend.

“They don’t like me,” I said.

“Why not?!” he exclaimed. He nearly fell over with shock; I took the wind right out of him! “Bu-bu-but, but, EVERYONE likes you!”

(Okay, that didn’t really happen. But he still asked why.)

“Because I have a negative opinion about Twilight.”

“What the hell is Twilight”? he asked.

“Uh, just this vampire book that’s written for teenagers and all these girls are crazy about.”

…

…

…

That’s what he did for like five minutes. I wish I could have recorded the look on his face.

Trust me, BF. I think it’s just as crazy for girls to not like me just because I don’t LOVE Twilight. And yes readers, don’t worry, I “tried it before I decided I didn’t like it.” (Just like the damn peas, mother. I tried them, I don’t like ‘em.) I read Twilight in July of 2007, before the sequels were released. I guess that might have been my mistake. I remember it was a super quick read, and yes, I did want to know what happened next. But alas, time passed without a sequel, and it wasn’t long before I was over it. Now I’m stuck reading an Edward Cullen reference at least once a week on a blog, and I REALLY don’t think the book is worth a second read just to feel like I’m part of this trend.

No offense to all my lovely blog friends who have posted about Twilight, but really? I don’t get it. There’s so much talk about wishing our boyfriends were Edward, or dreaming about Edward. Is romance that dead? Can’t we find our own real-life boyfriend who is romantic, HOT and not a tweenie vampire? I feel like this is just yet another set up – we read beauty magazines, and think our bodies, our hair or our lips will never be skinny, silky and plump enough. We see romantic movies, and dream about the Valentine’s Day with red roses leading up to our room, or an insanely over-the-top marriage proposal. Then when neither happen, we feel, uh, a little unsatisfied? And now we read Twilight, and we can’t be happy in our relationship because our boyfriends aren’t Edward Cullen.

Listen, I like romance as much as the next girl. I just prefer to guilt my boyfriend into it via subtle suggestions that don’t make him feel inept because he’s not a vampire, just inept for being male. Please don’t oust me from your social circle because I prefer the latter.

Currently Feeling: Sick from eating my weight in salt water taffy. Damn you coworkers!
Currently Anticipating: Getting my hair balayaged tonight by Bestie Amanda.
Currently Needing: To lock myself in a room between now and Thursday so I won’t spend any of my savings for Mexico.

I’ve decided to start a little series here called “Bacon! Bacon! Bacon! (Saturdays for Breakfast)” because, well, bacon is amazing. Close your eyes and repeat.

I’ve been a lover of all things bacon for as long as I can remember – I ate it every day for three years at my old job, until I started working at my new job and my boss was a vegetarian who threw a stink every time I cooked it in the microwave and the whole office smelled like bacon. Question of the hour:

WHO.doesn’t.LOVE.bacon?!

Okay, maybe vegetarians. But holy hell – bacon is probably the one reason I’ll never be a vegetarian. Seriousry. Everything is made better with bacon – and a little bit of bacon love. Bacon cures every ailment! Solves world hunger! So I’ve decided to make my blog that much better with the addition of bacon every Saturday. Each week, I’ll feature a fabulous bacon find – a recipe, random bacon-flavored products, pic, etc. If you have a fabulous bacon find you’d like to share with me, send it my way!

In fact, I love bacon so much why not TATTOO it on my body? Um, genius! I’ll have to beat the boys off with a stick! This week’s find – fabulous bacon tattoos:

This is why I love him

Keeping in tune with the title of my blog…

Last night the BF and I were finishing off our very, very expensive jug of pinot grigio (expensive wine is the only way we roll, yo!). Also, in case you were wondering, very expensive wines only come in jugs. Or boxes. Do it.

Anyway, I couldn’t get the effin cork to fit into the bottle.

I got all worked up, made a commotion and screeched, “It’s too tight of a fit!”

“That’s what she said,” he fired back.

After which I snorted, rolled around on the couch and high-fived him and all his geniousness.

God that joke never gets old.

Currently Feeling: Pretty guilty for all the slacking I’ve done this week.
Currently Anticipating: Burton sample sale tonight to score some new luggage for the trip and an 8 o’clock showing of “Monsters vs. Aliens,” out on the town tomorrow and haircut Saturday!
Currently Needing: Plant killer. Lots of it.

If you talk books with me, I might love you forever

Every month or so, I seem to get a request from a friend for a book recommendation. I think they all know I’m an obsessive reader (perhaps the gigantic color-coordinated bookshelf was an indication). I always try to rattle a few off with very animated, circular arm motions of HOW.much.I.LOVE.this.book, or direct them to my Facebook weRead page. So, I decided I’d share some books on my blog and just direct people here, but after sitting down to write out an uber long list of reviews, I discovered I could link my entire weRead list now in my blog’s sidebar. This is quite good news because I have approximately 100 books in there that I’ve rated, reviewed and kept updated, and I’m a big fan of “not reinventing the wheel.” So feel free to peruse via the “View All” button.

And – in perfect timing for book reading news. I just received an email from someone at Harper Collins via my old dating blog over at the Seattle Post Intelligencer. She wanted me to review a book, and offered five copies to give away on the blog. I told her that while I don’t write on the that blog anymore, I’d be happy to transfer over the review and giveaway to this blog – so VOILA! You have a book giveaway coming your way, blog friends. I think the book sounds super funny – it’s a memoir from a girl who wakes up at 26 and realizes after multiple sex partners that she has never had an orgasm…so goes on a no-holds-barred hunt. You know you want to read it! Stay tuned… and in the meantime, tell me:

Currently Feeling: A little sleepy and groggy from the wine jug the BF and I split last night. Whoopsie. We just got so into Paranormal State – my new FAV!
Currently Anticipating: $2 pizzas and $3 glasses of wine at Sazerac tonight for a double date with Bestie Amanda and her boy.
Currently Needing: A quiet weekend before the rush of next week’s craziness before I leave – crazy business at work, a meet-up on Monday at Tini Bigs, a meet-up with the new roomie on Tuesday at Solo, a hair cut, pedicure, packing… AHHHCKKK.

Ghetto fabulous chic

Can someone please tell me what’s so special about lululemon athletica?

I have heard nothing but great raves about it – and my super sporty best friend owns a ton of their stuff and practically wets herself every time her boyfriend buys her something from there. But, I’ve never stepped foot in their store because I was always like, “Well, I’m not really into yoga, so I’ll spare myself that expensive obsession.”

Redacted.

Now I AM hanging out with the cool kids – I do yoga! I do yoga! I can shop at lululemon! I mean, really, life isn’t complete until you have expensive items in your closet from Coach and lululemon! *Sarcasm* for those of you who can’t detect it via the Interwebs.

I still like to check out bandwagons, however, before I decide to jump or not to jump. So, imagine the level of my giddiness when I drove past the outlet malls on my way north last weekend and discovered a lululemon outlet store! At last! Now I can feel comfortable checking out their goods and not spending my last $100, meant for gas and groceries, on clothing. (I’ve been known to do that on more than one occasion). So I excitedly pulled over, expecting to find some super suhWEET deals (like $30 super cute and comfy yoga pants), but apparently I’m delusional. The yoga pants on the CLEARANCE rack at the OUTLET store were $66. Does that make the original price, um, $200 a piece?? Cause really, we’re talking yoga pants here. Some stretchy cotton. With maybe a tie at the waste. In a different color. That’s as fancy as they get. What about lululemon’s yoga gear is so effing special that they are charging so much?

Which brings me to the whole point of this rant – I am, and always will be, a sucker for a sale and a great price. I love to shop, but I also would much rather be proud of my super killer shoes or bag I found at Ross for $25, than wear a designer top I picked up at Nordstrom’s for $200 – and have 45 other girls own it. I take pride in the fact that I’m thrifty chic. Any girl can buy an ugly Louis Vuitton bag. (And man, are those bags are ugly. Like super ugly. Like they got beat with an ugly stick and their momma don’t even love them, ugly.) But not every girl can find a fabulous bag that’s inexpensive, everything you need and original. That takes some scowering!

So thank you, lululemon, but no thanks. I’ll stick to my favorite yoga pants from Target that I kinda want to live in every day. And I’ll roll into yoga class with my black pants straight out of the ghe-TTO, and bust the shit out of some tree poses.

Okthanxbai.

Currently Feeling: Tired. I’m at work super duper early so I can leave early for the last fitting of my Dolphin Sister’s wedding dress before the wedding next week in Mexico!
Currently Anticipating: Checking out this super amazing apartment tonight, with everything we need and the best location EVER.
Currently Needing: Guest bloggers for the week I’m gone. I’ve lined a few good ones up – let me know if you’d be interested too!

A trinket from my memory shelf

This past weekend I headed up to Victoria B.C. for a friend’s bachelorette party, with a teeny stop along the way in my old college town to stay with a nearest and dearest friend on Friday night. I haven’t been back in more than a year – and haven’t stayed more than one night since I graduated four years ago. But, as soon as I drove around the Evergreen-lined bend of the freeway and saw the approaching exit sign with “Western Washington University” on it, my face stretched into a huge grin.

Bellingham has been deemed one of the best places to retire, and now that I look back – it was one of the best places to go to school. As I drove through the familiar streets on my way through the sleepy town, I, quite literally, took a trip down memory lane. I thought about all the bus rides I took to school, bumping people with my huge art portfolio that carried the naked sketches I’d managed to do without busting at the seams (a wrinkly penis from an 80-year-old man is really hard to look at for three hours without wanting to giggle). I remembered the party where I chipped my tooth, the night I accidentally left my friend in my trunk, the day I partook in festivities from 4:20 in the afternoon until 4:20 in the morning, and the afternoon I made out underneath a sleeping bag on the cliffs of Larrabee State Park. I remembered eating popcorn at The Beav and shaking my groove thang to 80s music and Journey at The 3-B. I thought about Belgium waffles and buffet breakfasts in the cafeteria, the house on the corner with bumper pool, a dozen pink roses on my birthday and holding hands in the park, Franzia wine in a box, and frantic mornings I spent at Kinko’s, printing out my graphic design projects after I stayed up more than 24 hours to finish them. I remembered drinking 40s on Thirsty Thursdays, walking through bars, searching for half empty pitchers left by people I didn’t know, interviewing bands, restaurant owners, mothers and graffiti artists for the school magazine, and painting my nails every day at the salon I worked at. As I drove, I thought a lot about laughter, a lot about friends and a lot about heartache.

“It’s hard because I have some of my best times here and some of my lowest,” my girl friend said as we drove together on our way back through the town after our girl’s weekend.

What is the expression – “nail on the head”? Yeah… that.

College was, well, amazing. There is no other time in my life that I’ll get to live in a community with thousands of people within three years of myself, start a life for the first time without parents, or have my only commitment be three hours of class a day. I will never get to skip work just because I want to watch The Price is Right. But, I also went through some bad roommates, losing a few good friends and a little bit of heartache.

I think life is a lot like trinkets on a shelf – there are parts of yourself that hold either a tiny memory, or a lot of memories, that are put up on a shelf and seldom thought about, until you take that trinket down for a minute, dust it off, rotate it in your palm, smile or feel sad, and then put it back and continue with your day…

For me college is one of my most cherished trinkets. When I take down my college life off the shelf and think about it for more than a fleeting second, I do occasionally get a twinge of sadness. But, for the most part it makes me grin so big that I can’t hold it in.

Those memories will be with me forever.

Currently Feeling: Twitterpated after our spaghetti dinner and cuddle under the covers date last night. After four days away, our reunion was quite nice.
Currently Anticipating: Finding a fancy new place to live, with a dishwasher and a washer and dryer! Imagine that.
Currently Needing: Something to knock me out for the plane ride to Mexico. I’m already getting nervous. I freakin’ hate flying with a red hot passion. When did I become so neurotic?!

Deodorant Popcorn Snacks

Here’s an embarrassing little TMI fact for you – I have a weird obsession with men’s deodorant. Like I love, love, love the smell of it. I love to hug my boyfriend and kind of nuzzle my nose a little bit in the general armpit direction (or yah know, poke my nose directly in it) because his deodorant just smells so.damn.good. Why don’t they make women’s deodorant fragrances an extension of our perfumes? We only get sickening smells like “Powder Fresh” and “Springtime Floral Escape.” All reminiscent of the same smells you probably find on Summer’s Eve package, if yah know what I mean. Gross. Anyway, I’ll be the first to admit that my obsession with men’s deodorant is totally weird, but it always seems to get a laugh out of my BF, so I don’t think he minds too much.

But, recently I figured something out about myself – while I love the SMELL of men’s deodorant, I don’t love to EAT men’s deodorant. I bet you’re dying to know how I found this one out…

A couple days ago, my boyfriend and I were watching some realty TV show together on the couch (he doesn’t seem to mind my obsession with realty TV, which I love him for), and I was eating one of my new favorite TV snacks – 100-calorie packs of Smartfood White Cheddar Cheese Popcorn. Picture this: I’m leaning against him; he has his arm up on my knee; I’m mowing down on my white cheddar popcorn, but I keep dropping pieces and kernels that fall down on the couch; I continue to pick them up and swear to myself about how messy I’m being; I finish my popcorn bag and get up to throw it away; I come back to the couch and see there’s a little kernel left on the seat; I grab the kernel and put it into my mouth and start gagging – it is NOT popcorn.

Somewhere between me throwing away the bag in the kitchen and coming back, a little ball of my boyfriend’s deodorant fell on the couch, right where my white popcorn kernels previously were, and I ate it. That’s right. I ate a deodorant ball that had been heating up in his armpit. Is that seriously not the grossest thing you’ve ever heard? Or at least close.

Let me tell you, men’s deodorant, or any deodorant for that matter I’m sure, does.not.taste.good. It’s kinda like hot, chalky soap. That sticks to the inside of your mouth. Kinda like you just had your mouth washed out after saying naughty things.

I think I just inadvertently cured my obsession with his armpits.

Currently Feeling: Excited to check out Jimmy Johns’ sandwiches at lunch today with my coworkers.
Currently Anticipating: Bellingham tonight to stay with my old friend from college, and then Victoria, B.C. for a bachelorette party!
Currently Loving: Rilo Kiley on my fav Pandora station.

Possible ways to fall in love with my staying-in life

I was explaining to Bestie Amanda last night my “In Limbo” post, and she had a great amendment – “It’s like a limbo between feeling like you want to go out and that it’s sooo much fun, but then once you’re out, not really enjoying yourself as much as you remember you once did.” Precisely. I should just have her write my blog for me.

Anywho, a number of you have related to me, either in conversation or within the comments, about feeling the same way now or at one time. It’s nice to know I’m not the only one, and this too, shall pass. Since writing it, I’ve thought about some ways in which I can possibly fall in love with my staying-in life:

1. Yoga - I want to make it a goal to continue to go to the class I’ve been attending on Mondays. I like having something to look forward to on the usually dreaded start to the work week.
2. Hobby Crafts – I’ve been intrigued by the blog ladies I know who are making greeting cards. I think it’s a great idea since those little devils are like $5 a piece these days. Also, one of my good girl friends swears by scrapbooking and does it every Sunday. Seems a bit more for the older crowd, but I’ve got 3,000 plus pics that could really use some printing and organizing. I’ve also always wanted to learn how to sew (on my life list). I think it could do me some good to channel my creativity into an art form.
3. Cooking Classes – I’m thinking sushi making (also on my life list) or a wine pairing class with my boyfriend and some friends.
4. Lap Swimming – It doesn’t hurt to try, right? I could start with swallowing my pride with a purchase of one of those damn ugly hats and a pair of damn ugly goggles (Perhaps if they’re pink or LEOPARD print I’ll like them a little bit more).

St. Patrick’s Day 2009

A little photo album of our night out last night, which included corned beef and cabbage in the crockpot, Irish soda bread, cheesecake and strawberries at one of my best friend’s house, then bar festivities at T.S. McHugh’s in Queen Anne:

P.S. I kinda want to eat cabbage out of a crockpot every day now. Lucky boyfriend.