Fabulous and Flirty and Thirty

Today is my 30th birthday!

A little weird – a lot exciting.

I’ve had some amazing 20s. They were all about being selfish, young and crazy – getting to know “single in the city” living; starting and cultivating my career; making new friends, learning what true friendship is, and losing a few friends; testing out relationships in an attempt to find what (and who) I like; discovering new hobbies; wasting money and not saving; yo-yo dieting and body image fluctuation; many insecurities coupled with insane growth in confidence; and slowly trying to change into the woman I wanted to be (and attempting to shred the traits I didn’t like about myself).

My goal for my 20s was to move away from Seattle, and while it took my nine years, I did it! (Also to stop socially smoking and stop tanning – and I did those too)! My future wrinkles will thank me later.

I squeezed a lot in from 20-29, and I will always only have the fondest memories about that decade of my life. Not everyone can say that, so I’m proud of doing the things I wanted to do to keep myself a happy, healthy and sane 20-something.

But, I’m really looking forward to what my 30s are going to bring me. While 20s were for me being selfish, young and crazy – my 30s are when I imagine I’ll grow into the “grownup” version of myself I thought about when I was little. And by that, I mean the property buying, babymaking, marrying, saving and spending responsibly type. (Yes mom, this decade will probably bring you GRANDCHILDREN). How crazy is all of that to think about! This will be the decade my career will really flourish, and I’ll become my most healthiest self. This will be the decade I will be most proud of the person I am. The decade I’ll be friends with those who make me feel best. The decade I travel more, discover more new hobbies, make even more amazing memories and possibly even more friends. I can only hope that all my loved ones (and little kitty) will still be by my side on this next 10-year ride.

My goal for my 30s is to write a memoir (here’s looking at 39 to get that done ) and to work on that whole “flirty” thing a bit more. Because, my *wish* for my 30s is to fall in love…

“I’m looking for love. Real love. Ridiculous, inconvenient, consuming, can’t-live-without-each-other love.” – Carrie Bradshaw

I can’t wait to see how it all turns out!

Currently Feeling: So loved after my birthday week visit from Katie, celebrations with my Seattle/San Francisco friends, and birthday surprises in the mail!
Currently Anticipating: Napa tonight for the big birthday-night celebration!
Currently Needing: To detox after this week of celebrating with too much wine and tons of good food.

As the days kept turning into night

Well, my friends – 2011 is officially gone and past. For me, it was a “Banner Year.” I made it my goal to end 2011 and my 20s with a bang, and I feel like I succeeded. I know my journalism professors are turning over in their yet-to-be-filled graves by the use of the “banner year” and “out with a bang” cliches, but sometimes cliches feel oh so right. I’m just so full of love, luck and happiness in my life these days, it makes my heart three times its size.

As I look back and say goodbye to 2011, I’m simultaneously looking back and saying goodbye on my 20s since I’ll turn 30 in two short weeks. Oh how, oh how, do you write a post summing up an entire decade?! My general conclusion is that life.is.good. Each year I’ve learned to right a few wrongs, improve just a titch, enjoy new and exciting hobbies, cross off many bucket list items, and really revel in all the joy friends, family and success can bring. I feel like I’ve slowly been growing each year into a better version of myself than the year before, and I’m so excited to jump into 2012 – my first full year living in San Francisco. I have a lot of thoughts around what I want my year to look like, which I’ll also be sharing with you this week, along with the bucket list rundown of 2011/2012. But first, I thought it’d be easier to create a video recap of my year instead of posting a 900 word diatribe with 100 photos.

So, I present to you … a video recap of what I was doing in 2011 as the days kept turning into night:

Currently Feeling: Glad to have finished that video! Has taken me all week, but I’m getting better at iMovie. It’s pretty fun!
Currently Anticipating: Jersey Shore starting this week! Is that bad to admit?
Currently Wishing: I could have just been in Maui with my family over my actual birthday – hate stressing about celebrations. :/

Twelve Flights in Twelve Months

For the last couple years, I’ve really hated flying. It was something that awkwardly started in my mid 20s, for no real reason other than I had a small bout with acute anxiety from a terrible job I had, and suddenly, being in an airplane meant I didn’t “have an out” if I felt panicky and needed one. While the anxiety only lasted a short time, the flight nerves stuck around. It hasn’t been fun to deal with since flying is a big part of vacation and travel (which I obvs LOVE), especially when amazing, life-changing trips start with 24 hours of airplane travel. *cough* Bali *cough*

Someone once said to me that I don’t like to fly because I don’t do it often enough. So, around that time I added to my Bucket List, number 96: Fly somewhere every month, for a year to get more comfortable with flying.

To tell you the truth, I’m already half- to all-the-way cured after my Bali flight and moving away from home. (I feel really lucky that Seattle is only a couple hours away from San Francisco, and I have the luxury of flying home whenever there’s something I don’t want to miss).

However, I have a good jump on this Bucket List item of mine from my travel the last couple months and planned travel in the upcoming months, so I’m going to tackle #96 on my Bucket List with a goal of finishing it by July 2012.

I don’t currently have travel plans for May, June and July of 2012, but I do want to make it to New Orleans and Savannah (the dirty, dirty south, y’all!) next year, so perhaps those two mini trips will have to take place within those months.

Lots of travel to look forward to in my near future – the best feeling!

Currently Feeling: A little guilty after my three bowls of Golden Grahams dinner. Damn you, corner store across the street from me!
Currently Anticipating: Getting home to Seattle on Friday for the holidays!
Currently Needing: Some blog recs – leave em in the comments if you have em. Bonus points if they’re fellow San Francisco bloggers!

It is the choices that we make that will make us

Last week a friend came over to my house and caught glimpse of my little “What I Want To Do This Week” list.

She totes made fun of me.

Duly noted. It’s pretty nerdy.

But, what can I say – it’s my weekly ritual. Every Monday I fill out a new list with five things (or more) that I want to focus on or accomplish during my week.

How do I want to feel? What do I want to do to feel this way? What are the steps I need to take to accomplish what I need to do in order to feel this way?

It’s my little way to achieve my goals and change what I might not have been happy with the week/month/year before.

What can I say – I like to live my life with intention.

I found a definition to explain “living with intention:”

Life is a series of things that we do, of things that we think about, of interactions, and it’s the choices that we make that will make us. Intentional Living is to:

• Know what you believe.
• Know where you’re headed.
• Know what to do next.

How do you live your life with intention?

Thirty five years old in dog years

Today is my blog’s fifth birthday!

Holy bajeez.

I’ve gone through about five different designs, many blog hiatuses, many boys, many changes in what I will and won’t write about and many different readers. It’s been awesome. Sometimes I feel totally nerdy when I say it, but blogging is something I’d legitimately list as a full-time hobby. (God, I’m a NERD). I’m so glad I’ve had this bad boy around to share my thoughts – sometimes it’s more therapeutic than you can imagine.

I’ve been silent since my trip to Hawaii. I’m partially playing catch-up, partially have had a distracted mind as of late and am waiting until the dust settles to tell you all about it. I know there’s terribly vague of me. But, here are some things you can look forward to reading in the next couple weeks:

1. All the details about my fantastic vacation to Hawaii
2. A way in which I’ve changed that makes ME not even recognize the woman I am
3. Some thoughts on a certain type of etiquette
4. My absolute favorite lip gloss that you must buy immediately
5. A boy #FAIL like you would not believe (this one will be fun)
6. Other generally awesome findings I’ve been saving pics and details on to share with you

Thanks to each of you who have stuck around for five years – or who are new readers! It’s means so much. xoxo

Currently Feeling: Fit! Love it. Pilates has been a great addition to my routine.
Currently Anticipating: A tech geek meet up tonight (hopefully with some boys) and then Taco Tuesday at a friend’s house!
Currently Reading: “Let The Great World Spin” by Colum McCann.

Artistic and whimsical and free spirited

Last week, I signed up for ShoeDazzle.com – are any of you members, blog lovelies? If you haven’t heard of it, ShoeDazzle was started by Kim Kardashian, and is a monthly shoe membership for $40. Each month, you’re given a hand-picked “show room” from top Hollywood stylists, and can choose one bag, jewelry set or pair of shoes for $40. I’ve yet to receive my first pair, so I’ll let you know what I think of the quality and comfort when I do.

When you first sign up, you’re asked to take a “style quiz,” picking shoes that you love, celebrity style that most represents your own, etc. After taking the quiz, the above image was what they sent me. My style is… artistic, whimsical and free-spirited. This couldn’t be more spot on! There’s even peacock feathers in the image – a top favorite of mine (and you can tell from my blog header!), and a butterfly, which I have a tattoo of!

If you’re a ShoeDazzle member – let me know what you think!

Currently Feeling: Relaxed – got some reading in this weekend, some organizing and cleaning, some good meals, and some family and girl time. Success!
Currently Anticipating: The opportunity at a fun, “column” writing opportunity I received today for a new magazine starting in Seattle. Back to my dating writing roots!
Currently Reading: Just Kids, a memoir by Patti Smith.

Twenty nine looks pretty good from up here

So, yesterday was my birthday. I’m TWENTY NINE. Hard to believe I’m *this* close to kissing my sweet, sweet 20s goodbye. Everyone always says the 20s are some of the best years of your life… I don’t know any better, but I’ve certainly LOVED being a 20-something. I’m going to make this last year the best one yet!

I spent my birth day responding to a ridiculous amount of text messages, phone calls, emails and Facebook posts. If there’s one thing your birthday does for you, it makes you feel extremely loved.

Then for my birth night, I headed to a favorite local neighborhood Mexican restaurant – Laredos for enchiladas, wine and a birthday cake shot, wrapping up my evening at a couple of fun bars in my neighborhood with friends. I live in a really fun, vibrant neighborhood of Seattle that has a lot of 20-something and 30-somethings, and there’s always someone to run into or a friend behind the bar. It was the perfect way to spend my birthday.

Tomorrow I’m throwing a HUGE shindig. I’m not getting married in my 20s, so I decided, why not throw a big, decorated, catered, themed party similar to all the hooplah people put into a reception? Notice the little tag in the sidebar to the right that says “Theme Party Whore”? Yeah, that’s me. I’ll be adding a new post to that category next week with all the photos from my “Roaring 20s” theme party – complete with flappers, gangsters, feathers, candy cigarettes and prohibition cocktails at a speakeasy.

Happy Birthday to me!

Currently Feeling: Excited to stay in watching movies with my little sister tonight – we always have such a good time together. Good laughs for sure.
Currently Anticipating: My party tomorrow, of course!
Currently Loving: The XX – their album is so good!

The Worry

I recently read a friend’s old blog post where she referenced The Worry.

“The Worry is back,” she says.

“It’s the little bit of me that I don’t mind being without. It’s infiltrated the little things – like if I said goodbye the right way or if I’ll remember the way the music sounds when you are in the room.”

This is me. This is part of me – this Worry.

I’m not sure if it’s a change in chemicals, or getting older, or just part of being in my late 20s. I explained something along the lines of the above – my Worry – to someone recently and they said, “Oh yeah – I started worrying about things like that in my late 20s all the time, then it eventually went away.”

I’m hoping it’s just a phase, and this constant Worry of mine will go away. I’ve been wondering lately if it’s a bad habit I’ve formed or just a natural part of life. Worrying.

Lately I worry so much – I don’t know what to do with myself. It feels like it’s gotten worse. And it’s not basic worrying. Like I don’t worry about work, or if people will like me, or if I left my curling iron on.

I worry about death. All the time. I think about losing my parents, my real dad, my grandparents, my sister. Especially my sister. I worry about her driving five hours back to school on a two-lane road. I worry about her texting while driving and becoming someone featured in this video. I worry about something happening to her like those freak accidents you hear about kids in college like falling off a balcony while drunk. I think nearly every day how terrible it would be to lose my sister. I think about how I wouldn’t be able to get out of bed, or go to work. I go over terrifying phone calls in my mind – like what my parents would say if they called me to tell me she was in an accident.

I know this is grossly morbid – but the morbidity follows me daily… Worry, worry, morbid worry.

A co-worker of mine says it’s only magnified when you have children, which I’ve thought about too. I suppose it’s natural to feel like you love something so much, you couldn’t possibly live without them. But I’d like to think that this Worry isn’t going to be around all the time, in the back of my mind, from now until eternity.

Do YOU worry all the time to? Or am I alone in this? Is this the sign of some freak personality syndrome that I should worry about? (Worrying right now!)

Looking back and forward on my year of total happiness

Wednesday night I went to dinner with an old college roommate. We ordered two crepes, split a bottle of red wine, and discussed our upcoming New Years Eve plans. At sometime during the night I said, “2010 has been the best year of my life,” and she responded with – “Really?!”

Yes, really.

I have said more times than I can remember this year – I am SO happy right now. Happy with where I’m at with my life, happy with who’s in it (and who isn’t). Happy with my career, my apartment, my friends. If I could pick one word to sum up this year for me – it’s simply been, Happy. I could only hope 2011 lives up to the year I’ve had in 2010.

Below are just a few of the reasons that have made 2010 “my best year yet.” In no particular order, this year I…

• Made regular workouts a part of my life all year, for the first time ever. This included starting Sassy Fit boot camp, which I did for six months, and then starting my yoga practice! (Which began with a 30-day hot yoga challenge in June). Me + yoga = LOVE.
• Gave up consumerism for 30 days (as part of my 30-day yoga challenge).
• Paid of a ton of parking tickets that prevented me from buying tabs, bought new tabs to replace the previous ones that were expired for two years AND paid off my car loan. Booyah. What up responsibility.
• Took a bacon cooking class (where I learned to make a Bacon Explosion!)
• Traveled to New York, San Francisco twice and Miami (where we partied at a bar with the Jersey Shore cast. I was at a bar with Snookie in 2010. Enough said).
• Spent many fun cabin weekends with friends, including Chelan multiple times over the spring and summer, and Leavenworth for Oktoberfest.
• Booked my first trip to Hawaii!
• Co-hosted (with other Power Team members) at least a dozen Girl Power Hour networking events for women, which allowed me to meet tons of empowering, smart girls and be a leader in my community!
• Found $100 bill on the ground on Halloween night (dressed as Cruella DeVille).
• Bought an ice cream making machine and learned how to make ice cream for the first time!
• Started a “Good Friends and a Glass of Wine” dining group, where I met with four girl friends of mine once a month to try a rotating selection of some of Seattle’s most critically acclaimed and talked about restaurants. We met 10 out of the 12 months in 2010 – pretty great record, and lots of great food! We ate at Spring Hill, Root Table, Lark, Union, Mistral Kitchen, anchovies & olives, Spinasse, Osteria La Spiga and more.
• Coached a kickball team with friends.
• Took a long blog break, transferred my blog from Blogger to WordPress and redesigned my blog. Took another long blog break, redesigned my blog again. Discovered that part of my happiness IS blogging, and I feel weird when I leave it behind. Completed NaBloPoMo (without missing a single post!) to gain my blog mojo back.
• Crossed a few fun things off my Bucket List, including riding my bike to work (and walking to work most of the summer!), going to Teatro Zinzanni for the first time, meeting a blog friend in real life, planting an herb and veggie garden – and making recipes with my homegrown plants, cooking my first turkey and buying satin sheets for my bed (for ME, no one else).
• Spent a LOT, a lot, a lot of time with girl friends – made a ton of new friends (Hi loves, if you’re reading!), and became closer to my roommate and some of my best friends, who mean the world to me.
• Had my first career-related speaking gig on a panel at the Social Fresh conference in Portland, OR.
• Attended BlogHer and BlogHer Food for the first time (excellent, nerdy blogging conferences – right up my alley).
• Said goodbye to my trusty Sidekick (my friends called me Sidekick Sally for years) and bought an iPhone 4! Also was able to purchase a Kindle this year – something I’ve had on my “want” list for at least 2-3 years – and have read so many great books. I’m hoping to pull together a list of my top books of 2010, for those interested.
• Hosted a Girls Thanksgiving, and cooked my first turkey (and sweet potato pie).
• Repaired my own vacuum after it broke! lol. Pretty proud of myself for that one – I’m an independent woman!
• Moved offices from downtown to Pioneer Square.
• Threw a big, successful party – without a hitch – for work with more than 150 people in the Seattle tech community in attendance! Then received a raise a week later, and a new part time contract work for an awesome company two months after that! My career kicked major ass in 2010. I can’t believe I can say that I’m exactly where I want to be at 29, and love, love my job and industry every day. For THAT, I consider myself extremely lucky.
• Made giant steps toward a BIG life change that I’ve wanted to do, and have talked about, for years. 2011 looks like it could be my year!

As far as looking forward to 2011, I decided to not make a “New Years Resolution” for this year. Rather, I scrolled through my Bucket List and marked a number of them that I want to cross off, work on, or know I’m already on my way to completing in 2011. Some of them are a bit ridiculous, some trivial, some large – but all are realistic. It’s a hefty list this year with lots to work toward, but what is life but without high goals!

My Bucket List items I’m going to try to complete in 2011 are:

• Live in another city for at least one year
• Keep a savings account – with a balance – for more than one year 
• Swim with dolphins (Planned for Hawaii.)
• Get my teeth whitened, professionally 
• Teach myself to video edit (My job might depend on it. Kidding. But no, really.)
• Visit Bali and wear flowers around my neck 
• Take a yoga retreat (Just so happens I’m planning a yoga retreat to Bali for August 2011. Two birds. One stone.)
• Buy a Mini Cooper (Currently on wait-lists for a black one.)
• Own a license plate with my name on it (As silly as this is, figured might look all right on new Mini.)
• Take a shower by candlelight
• Give up fast food for a year (Eh – why not. Thought I’d try this, starting January 1st. This could be considered a mini resolution, I suppose.)
  
• Make a cookbook of my grandmother’s recipes before she passes 
• Go to dim sum for breakfast
• Dine in the dark at San Francisco’s Opaque restaurant
• Feel great in a T-shirt again (My tummy is my trouble area, and it’s been a long time since I could just wear jeans and a T-shirt and feel comfortable. I’d really like to change this.)
• Make a wine corkboard from bottles of wine I’ve actually drank myself (Been saving for nearly two years – almost there!)
• Go to Toastmasters and kick my anxiety with public speaking (This is a must. must.)
• Wine taste in Napa Valley

Happy  New Years everyone!

Currently Feeling: Phew exhausted! This took all night.
Currently Anticipating: Getting my hair did and all fancy for the big NYE party I have planned tomorrow with a super fun group of friends from my neighborhood. Happy NYE!
Currently Loving: A cute new consignment shop in my neighborhood that has brand new designer jeans – tags on – for $70 and less! Pshhh. I’m totally not sharing the name.

Turkey Lurkey Gobble Gobble

Happy Thanksgiving, from my family to yours.

I’m thankful for my small four-person family who supports and loves me unconditionally no matter what. For a stepdad who has never treated me less than his own daughter, and stepped up to be a great father from the minute he married my mom. For my mom, who spends every day of her life trying to be the best mother she can be -the type of mother she never had. And for my little sister, who is smart, beautiful, funny and one of my most favorite people to be around.

I’m thankful for every single friend who surrounds me in my ridiculously full life – from high school to college, new friends and old. I laugh on a daily basis, and have more parties, happy hours, dinners, and general all around fun in my life than a girl could ever want.

I’m thankful to have an amazing job that I want to go into every day – that I’m passionate and excited about- where I can make an income, doing what I love, that fulfill my every want and need outside of work.

I’m thankful for my apartment, in one of the best locations, in one of the best cities in the nation. For my white fluffy Persian who makes me smile and feel loved on a daily basis. And for my health and my family’s health – that up until now, there have been no major problems, no cancer and no accidents. *fingers crossed*

I’m thankful for so much, I could go on for days and days, but will spare you more cheese than I’ve already put here.

But I do have to give one more hat tip to wine… I’m thankful for you, wine. Because without you, I probably wouldn’t get through all the hard moments and crappy times with enough gumption to step back, recognize and enjoy all of the above.

Happy Turkey Day, lovelies! xoxo