How does the word flaky make you feel

Do you think to yourself, “Eww…I’m kinda flaky” or “Gawd I hate flaky people”?

Because I think there are two types of people in this world – flaky and non-flaky. However, I’m unsure how this comes about, and I wonder if flaky people, deep down, know they’re flaky. Or does everyone say they hate flaky people, but we’re all, in our own little ways, flaky at one point or the other? Conversely, what makes someone flaky – a selfishness and lack of others’ time, overall listlessness, or a general uncaring attitude? Perhaps it’s larger, more private issues – like social anxiety or depression – maladies that cause people to want to stay in, alone, instead of being where they said they’d be. Or perhaps we’re all just overbooked, overworked, overcommitted, oversocialized…

I thought about this today during a conversation I had with someone about how hard it is to throw events these days because everyone RSVPs “Yes”, but shows up to less than 50 percent of what they RSVP to.

The conversation made me awfully grumbly – if there’s one thing I abhor in life, it’s flaky people. I work very hard to only commit to events I can actually make it to, and will run myself into the ground to show up to where I promised I’d be, even if it’s the last thing I want to do. (Which, on the flip side, probably isn’t that healthy).

But, my word is strong – if I tell you I’ll be there, unless something like throwing up, car troubles, lost keys or other life altering events happen that prevent my presence, I’ll be there.

I realized, it is very important in this life of mine to be reliable.

Because I put such weight on being reliable, it’s really hard for me to be patient with any and all of the following:

• Someone who is afraid to call and tell you they don’t want to go anymore, so they don’t answer texts and emails and kinda fall off the face of the Earth until magically, after wherever they were supposed to be is over, they “Find their phone.”
• Someone who commits to something that requires a head count, and splitting of costs, then bails out at the last minute – stiffing everyone else with their portion of the bill that they committed to.
• Someone who reschedules and cancels and reschedules and cancels, and cancels and cancels and then shows up late.
• Someone who replies “maybe” to every invite – never committing to anything (now, is that flaky or noncommittal?)
• Someone who commits to plans, which require them to be there for the other person to go, and because they back out, the other person is stuck not doing something they wanted to do.
• Someone who bails on anything that required tickets or reservations.
• Etc, etc, etc.

What are your thoughts on the what it means to be flaky? Do you put an emphasis on it?
Do you think I put too much emphasis on it? I’d love to hear your thoughts…

Five little updates on July

Well hello there, July 16th. Where have the last two weeks gone? Been busy soaking up the sun that finally came to Seattle – and as my GChat status says, “The summer sun makes me irresponsible.” Less time for blogging and computer playing, more time for outdoors, friends and barbecues. The best time of the year!

Life has been trucking along quite nicely these days – I’ve got a few little updates for you.

I finished my 30-day challenge – you can read my somewhat wrap-up thoughts here since they were the same for the last two weeks of the challenge. I was a couple days shy of the complete 30 days. It was tough to make it to class every day the last two weeks cause I became super burnt out. But for the most part, I did it! So, I’m back to boot camp a couple days a week, and hot yoga a couple days a week. I’m also walking to work now that the weather is nice! Two miles – 45 minutes of walking a day – so it’s been a great addition to my workouts.

Me putting the last star on the challenge board

My Fourth of July holiday weekend was one of the best ever. Choosing Lake Chelan over Seattle turned out to be the best decision I could have made since Seattle gifted everyone with grey skies and rain for the holiday. Meanwhile, I hung out in my bathing suit, drank BLs on the beach all day and finished the evening up with a crazy dance party boat ride to watch the Chelan city fireworks. Lots of funny pictures and memories of the weekend that, unfortunately, don’t belong on the Internet. Good times were had by all.

Left: All the girls at the beach. Center: Boating it. Right: Wine tasting on our way back.

My summer garden is rockin’ and rollin’. I had to upgrade my basil plant because I used it so much, I dried the first one out and killed it. So, I purchased a bigger and better one. I have basil for days! My favorite summertime dinner meal these days has been some whole wheat pasta tossed with olive oil, garlic, fresh mozerella, tomatoes and basil from my garden – finished with salt and pepper. Mmm. Someone told me our summers in Seattle don’t usually last long enough for peppers or strawberry plants, so I’m keeping my fingers crossed there. And I have a couple tiny green tomatoes that I’m watching with much love!

Caprese pasta - my summertime staple!

Turns out my work is sending me to New York City for the BlogHer 10 conference the first weekend of August. I’m super, duper excited and geeked out to meet so many bloggers and make some (hopefully) lifelong connections. I’ll get to hang out with Doniree for the first time, which I’m fantastically excited about. I feel like I’m the only 20-something blogger left in this world that doesn’t know her personally. I’ll also be hosting a fun Sex and the City walk through the city with a Kindle giveaway at the end. I think it’s going to be a fabulous, successful event, so that pushes my excitement that much further. Have I mentioned lately how much I love my job? By the way – this will be the first time I’ll have visited NYC while 21 and over. Trouble to be had! NEW YORK…. These streets will make you feel brand new…Big lights will inspire you…Let’s hear it for New York, New York, NEW YORK.

Can you think of a better event?! Excited!

I’m heading over the mountain pass again this weekend for a bachelorette party for one of my high school girl friends – lots of longtime girls of mine will be there. I hang out with all 10 of them about twice a year, so this should be interesting and fun. We’re starting off with a night out in the tiny town our cabin is in, wearing ugly bridesmaid dresses. (Thank you, Goodwill, for mine). We’re also floating a river Saturday in intertubes and then heading back out in matching tie-dyed tank tops with nicknames on the back. Mine? G-Spot Je-Spot. Yeah. That’s right. High school nickname I can’t seem to freakin’ get ride of. (For no other reason than my name being Je Anna). Should have some fun stories and pictures to share with all of you. Happy weekend!

Currently Feeling: A little bit of a nervous belly.
Currently Anticipating: Relaxing this weekend in the sun before a SUPER busy work week next week. Time to recharge!
Currently Loving: The new Eminem CD. Seriously – it’s so good. He amazes me, and brings me back to memories in high school when I used to listen to his first CD, all at the same time.

Capital H. Double Capital M(s).

//via Flickr

A couple weeks ago, I was out with some of my guy friends, drinking brewskies at The Polish House on Capitol Hill. (If you’re from Seattle and haven’t been, it’s a community center that opens on Fridays only as an Polish beer hall and restaurant. Totally awesome, I know). I can’t remember what exactly the topic at hand was, but one of them asked me something along the lines of:

“Is that when/where you’re going to meet the guy you’re going to marry?”

And I promptly responded:

“Oh, I’ve already met him.”

Mostly, I was joking. Perhaps referencing some crush, acquaintance or old boyfriend worth rekindling a romance with. But later (as in, the type of thing you think about in the shower), I was thinking… WOW. I said that so fast and confidently I even surprised myself. And even weirder… what if it were true?

What if I’ve already met the guy I might share a mortgage or shop for garden gnomes with (because who doesn’t want one of those someday). Who I’ll argue over baby names, or what type of family dog we’ll buy and what we’ll name him. The man I’ll sit next to when we decide whether to dine in or dine out, whose family we’re going to spend Christmas with this year, what school we’re going to send our children to, or when it’s appropriate to talk to them about religion and politics, before they can form their own opinion.. Who I’ll decided between Bali vs. Greece for our honeymoon with, and red paint or blue paint for the kitchen (and where he’s going to let me sneak in some pink ).

It’s strange to think about those things. I suppose those are the things I equate with marrying someone one day.

It’s even stranger to think I might have already met Him. Capital H.

That perhaps he’s someone whose eye I caught on the bus, whose hand I shook at a networking event, or who I ran a 5K next to.

Who poured me a glass of wine one time, served nachos to me at my local bar, or sat next in the booth next to mine at trivia night.

Maybe it’s even someone I’ve known and laughed with before – for years. How ’bout that.

Maybe he’s someone I’ve laughed with for five minutes.

Hell, maybe he just made me laugh.

See – life is crazy. You never know who is going to be in yours for 5 minutes, 5 years or 50. Friends and acquaintances come and go – loves fizzle and rekindle every day. So many girls worry daily that they haven’t met “The Man They’re Going to Marry.” Double capital Ms. H.E.Double hockey sticks.

Isn’t it much easier, dare I say much HAPPIER, to not feel like you’re going in and out, every day, in search of something you can’t find or can’t have? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just wake up every day and take it work hour by work hour, Sunday morning by Sunday morning, happy hour by happy hour – in no rush for any particular moment you feel you’re missing because someday IT.WILL.COME?

There wouldn’t be a need to try too hard, wear too much makeup, laugh a little too loud, stay out too late when you’d rather go home, just to make sure you’re not missing out on meeting Capital H. Double Capital Ms.

Really… there’s no need, see. You already met him. And some day, when it’s time, the universe will open up with a drink and a smile. And all the fussing wouldn’t have been worth it in the first place.

Cause Capital H. Double Capital Ms had been there all along.

Currently Feeling: Antsy for the four day weekend – hello Memorial Day weekend, the kick-off to awesome Seattle summers.
Currently Anticipating: Me + 13 friends in a cabin with a hot tub and barbecue on the lake. Perfection.
Currently Wondering: If I should try out the 30 day yoga challenge in June – decisions!

A nice smile just might do it

This weekend I finally got around to watching “Up In the Air.” Super great movie. I like the kind of movies that make you think…about life and love. The pursuit of happiness or lack there of. One scene in the movie was absolutely brilliant, a dialogue touching on the “American Girl’s Dream” – a husband, house, two point five kids and a car – a dream that I once entertained too, then realized there’s about 20 more years of livin’ I need to do.

In the scene, 23-year-old Natalie, is talking to Ryan (George Clooney) and Alex (Vera Farmiga), both of whom are 34+, single and married to their jobs, right after her boyfriend and hoped-for future husband broke up with her.

Natalie: I thought I’d be engaged by now (no offense).
Alex and Ryan: No. None taken.
Natalie: When I was 16, I thought by 23 I’d be married, maybe have a kid, corner office by day, entertaining at night. I was supposed to be driving a Grand Cherokee by now.
Alex: Life can underwhelm you that way.
Natalie: Um, where did you think you’d be, by um… (nods at her, not knowing her age)
Alex: Well, uh…it doesn’t work that way.
Ryan: No…at a certain point, you stop with the deadlines.
Alex: They can be a little counterproductive.
Natalie: I don’t want to say anything that’s anti feminist. I really appreciate that your generation did for me.
Alex: It was our pleasure.
Natalie: But sometimes it feels like no matter how much success I have, it’s not gonna matter until I find the right guy.
Alex: You really thought this guy was the one?
Natalie: I coulda made it work. He really fit the bill, yah know.
Ryan: The bill?
Natalie: White collar. College grad. Loves dogs, likes funny movies. Six foot one. Brown hair. Kind eyes. Works in finance, but is outdoorsy, ya know, on the weekends. I always imagined he’d had a single-syllable name. Like um, Matt or John or Dave. In a perfect world he drives a Four Runner and the only thing he loves more than me is his Golden Lab.

And a nice smile.

How about you?
Alex: Let me think, uh… by the time you’re 34, all the physical requirements just go out the window. Well, you secretly pray that he’ll be taller than you.

Um, not an asshole would be nice. Just someone who enjoys my company and comes from a good family. You don’t think about that when you’re younger. Oh and someone who wants kids…likes kids. Healthy enough to play with his kids. Oh and, please, let him earn more money than I do. You might not understand that now. But believe me, you will one day. Otherwise that’s a recipe for disaster.

And hopefully some hair on his head. But I mean, even that’s not a deal breaker these days.

And a nice smile. Yeah… a nice smile. A nice smile just might do it.

I loved everything about this scene… how Ryan says, “At some point you just stop with the deadlines.” How Natalie rattles off her “bill” of what a perfect guy would be (because how ridiculous are long lists of all the insignificant qualities your “future partner” should have). How both women mention that really, at the end of the day, they’re both just looking for a smile.

I could have been Natalie at one point. Probably was, although it’s weird for me to think back on that Jeanna.

I had a friend once who told me that every single one of his girlfriends have wanted to marry him. I don’t know what it is… but I think us girls are trained to look at every guy, or love, or relationship or boyfriend, as the future father of children. That in college, I didn’t really know what to do, or how to think of myself as single too far past graduation. You grow up hearing stories of all the people who married their college sweetheart. So you think that’s just going to be you some day, naturally. And if it’s not him, then it’ll be the next serious relationship. Or the next.

That used to be me. Until I figured out that was neither attractive, productive nor realistic.

And while I’m not all the way an Alex, it’s closer to reality for me. I don’t want to live my life by deadlines. I don’t want to feel like I need to accomplish anything by a certain age or time, and if I don’t, I’ll be lonely, or left out, or missing something. Now that’s counterproductive.

At the end of the day, I just want to find someone – or something - that makes me smile.

Currently Feeling: Excited for my mom and dad’s new family business plan that we came up with over wine tasting today… add a little wine into anything to make dreams big and beautiful.
Currently Anticipating: A full week of exercise… bootcamp, kickball and a belly class. Time to get serious – I have a cabin weekend in Lake Chelan to plan for because I’m not taking off my bathing suit for four days.
Currently Loving: The sisterly time I had this weekend – happy hour, a sleepover with pizza, breakfast, shopping – having a sister is seriously the best.

Luck, preparation & opportunity

I’ve been thinking in my head about how I’d write this post for at least three weeks now. Do you ever do that? Write blog posts in your head while something is happening, after it’s happened, etc? I guess that’s the test of a true blogger at heart. If only I could have managed to get it finished and posted three weeks ago…some of you have already heard the good news via Facebook or IRL.

But, I digress. I’ll cut to the chase.

Things have been a bit quiet here for the last two or three weeks because…

I FOUND MY DREAM JOB. (!!!)

Correction: not only did I find my dream job, but I interviewed my little heart out for it – a three-week, 10-separate-interview process that had me strung out like Amy Winehouse.

And then, I was hired for said dream job, and I had to keep it a secret for an entire week before the formal announcement. Do you know what it’s like to keep a secret in like that? Two words: balls hard. (That sounds awkward).

And oh hey Twitter haters – I did it all through the power of Twitter.

Now… for a quick explanation of what my “dream job” exactly means… Apologies ahead of time, for I think this is a topic that might bore some of you other than my most loyal, loyal readers and best friends. (Heart!) And I promise I’m not turn this blog from lifestyle into an industry-specific blog, but I’m just so dang proud and happy, I need to catalog this moment in time if for nothing else than a record for my future self.

For those of you who don’t know me personally, I don’t really talk much about work here. (Blogging 101, hello! Unless you want to get Dooced). But I think you could probably already pick-up that I’m a huge fan of social media. Of Facebook. Of Twitter. Of blogging and networking online in communities such as 20-Something Bloggers, LinkedIn, Flickr, Yelp and more. Of the Internet in general, technology, computers. Of how it can all make your life so much easier. Make you more knowledgeable. And also make you broke. (Oh Amazon.com, RueLaLa and Etsy, how I love thee). How it breaks down barriers in time and distance and opens opportunities for happenstance, connections and friends.

My interest in the online world started with blogging, stemming from my love for writing and my journalism degree in college. Blogging allows anyone to be a published writer. And Carrie Bradshaw just sexified it for me even more. I took turns blogging for a local Seattle Web site and then became a “dating” blogger for a local newspaper. And of course, there’s this little baby that I’ve had for nearly four years now. But, it wasn’t until my last job that I realize social media – blogging, Twitter, Facebook and more – could actually be a career. And I could do it every day and get paid for it. I wouldn’t have to click out really quickly when someone came walking up behind me at work. Or worry that the IT team could tell how much time I’d been spending on the Internet. Hey – maybe I could just find a job where I was supposed to be on the Internet all day. Supposed to read blogs all day. Wouldn’t that be neat?

I think that some people will look their whole lives for something they’re passionate about that they can turn into a day job. For me, this is social media. I eat and breath this stuff. I started to think long and hard about how I could get up every morning to do what I’m most passionate about.

So over the summer, I decided to take a much-needed mental break off. (Hello best summer Seattle has ever seen. Hello private dock on Lake Washington. Goodbye natural tan lines I’ll never see again). I gathered my wits about me to figure out exactly what I wanted to be doing and where; I made a note to never let myself feel as unhappy in a job as I had been this past year.

At the moment…

… I feel like I’m on the convergence of some really fantastic paths that will take me places I’ve never been and help me to grow into the women I’m not quite become…

…I’m training (rather quickly) for a 5K that I signed up for at the end of September. It’s a 5K during Seattle’s Oktoberfest, so I’m running TOWARD a beer garden. And then I have a prepurchased ticket to get into the beer garden after the run. Nothing like a little motivation! I will cross this off my list of things to-do in 2009. BTW, did I mention I hate running…

…I’m networking and meeting more fantastic new Seattle ladies than I ever thought possible. A personal mantra of mine is that you can never have too many friends, and there’s always a new friend to be had. This city is coming even more alive for me than it ever has been. And it’s making me fall in love with Seattle all over again…

…I’m working really hard on my relationship with The BF and making time for just he and I. With all the networking and volunteering I’m doing, and all the home remodeling and working he’s doing, we lost site of ourselves and our relationship for a short time. Now we’re trying to schedule more date nights, be more romantic, appreciate each other that much more. And I tell yah what, being conscious of these kind of changes and an ebb and flow in a relationship makes you that much stronger…

…I have a new entrepreneurial spirit that is blossoming and growing on a daily basis. I’ve met so many people who’ve started their own business, who are their own boss daily and who manage their own time and schedule. And for the first time in my life, I said out loud, “I think I want to own my own business some day…”

…I’ve lost most of the epic tan of my lifetime since the weather has been a bit cooler this August in Seattle. I’m not yet ready for the summer to kiss us goodbye, but I am welcoming to the change in temperature and not sweating a puddle in my bed every night. Is there anything more uncomfortable than trying to sleep in 100-degree weather without air conditioning…

…I’m behind 200+ blog posts in my feed reader. I haven’t read some of my favorite blogger’s updates since mid July. I’ve been busy with outdoor stuff, and when I’m not outdoors I’m busy with job searching stuff. But I miss my blogs dearly, and if you haven’t heard from me in awhile, it’s not because I’ve stopped all together. Today I’m determined to get through all outstanding posts and catch up on the blogosphere for the last month. Here goes nothing…

Personal Mission Statement

I have an interview in, oh um, 34 minutes. Just a screen interview – but at Amazon.com, so that’s pretty exciting. Right now I’m researching the group I’d be working for and going through my list of “Top 100 Interview Questions” that I used when I was trying to interview before I found my last job. I filled all of the interview questions in – and it’s super interesting to read through what I expected or how I’d answer some of them. I’m definitely a bit more firm in my needs and wants in a job… last time I was just kinda throwing stuff against the wall in hopes that it’d stick.

I just came to question # 56, “What is your personal mission statement?” And this is what I’d wrote as my 24 or 25-year old self:

I want to live a life of no regrets. I want to love to my fullest, travel all the time, learn everything I can and excel in my career. I want to be happy. I want to get up everyday with a smile.

I really like that. I want to get up everyday with a smile. I need to hold fast to that personal mission and never lose site of it again.

Currently Feeling: Nervous. Duh! Even though it’s just a phone screen, I haven’t interviewed in a really long time.
Currently Anticipating: Bike riding this afternoon, even though the weather kind of stinks right now! Thankfully it’s supposed to get back up in the 80s this weekend.
Currently Reading: My Mother’s Lovers by Christopher Hope. (A Seattle Times Best Book of the Year!)

Marshmallows make me smile

It is a well known Je-fact that I am obsessed with marshmallows. I used to eat marshmallow cream out of a jar with a spoon in college (before my figure had to be watched), and I actually own a Marshmallow Fluff cookbook that a former roommate gifted me (you would not believe the recipes they come up with in the thing). My love for marshmallows has followed me around since youth. (You can read my ode to marshmallows, and my complete history with them in a post I wrote years ago).

Anywho – there is a well-known cupcake shop in Seattle that creates a S’mores cupcake. It has a graham cracker bottom, chocolate cake with graham pieces and a marshmallow merigue on top. UM, GENIUS! I’ve been dying to try it ever since the cupcake was featured on Martha Stewart last year.

I finally got my chance last night at a friend’s birthday party and caught it on flim here for you guys:

Currently Feeling: Like there’s not enough time today. I need to run so many errands before rush hour hits.
Currently Anticipating: A cabin weekend with all my high school girl friends this coming weekend!
Currently Reading: The White Tiger. Well, okay, I’m not currently reading it cause I finished it yesterday, after only three days. I just wanted to tell everyone how good it was! Highly recommended.

Let me tell you something you don’t already know

I can’t…
Stand country music. Draw anything other than flowers and stick figures. Stop obsessing about losing someone close to me. Sit inside on sunny days. Carry a tune to save my life. Be in a sexless relationship. Leave the house without matching earrings, shoes and bag. Throw a Frisbee.

I can…
Play the piano. Say I’m sorry. Read a 500-page book in three days. Obsess daily about what I’m doing with my life. Spend all day reading and writing blogs. Procrastinate until the eleventh hour. Camp for days without showering and not care. Spend $15 weekly on fashion and celebrity gossip magazines. Make some mean chili. Be really ornery. Often fall head first into a bottle of wine.

I won’t…
Get married until I’m really, really sure. Wear Uggs. Give money to someone begging on the street. Ever again find myself dating someone who won’t call me his girlfriend. Go a day without using the Internet. Give up my dreams for a boy. Sunbathe without sunblock. Eat peas.

I will…
Always have a jug of sweet tea in my fridge. Live somewhere other than Seattle for a short time. Give food to someone begging on the street. Always love those who have loved me. Watch Sex and the City over, and over, and over again. Find my dream job. Invite everyone; the more the merrier. Be proud of the paths I’ve taken in my 20s.

I shouldn’t…
Ever, ever, ever smoke. Tan. Bite my nails. Love Taco Bell as much as I do. Love not working as much as I do. Web MD myself because it’s always CANCER or AIDS. Buy any more earrings.

I should…
Move to San Francisco this year. Censor myself a little more than I do. Be applying for jobs instead of writing this blog. Call my dad and grandparents more. Make friends with someone who has a boat. Become a better runner. Revel in how happy I feel right now.

Inspired by her and her.

Currently Feeling: A little sleepy from the happy hour that turned into an all-night laugh, drink and eat fest. Love it!
Currently Anticipating: Hot yoga tomorrow with my sis. I’ve never been!
Currently Loving: Firefly Lane. Seriously – every girl should read it! I devoured it in three days and balled my eyes out. SOOOO good!

Friendships for what they are to me, what they could be, and what they aren’t

Today I wrote a guest post for Just a small town girl… The blog author, Mandy, runs a series every Friday called “Lasting Impressions” for stories about best friends, lost friends, childhood friends, celebrating friends – basically anything you want to write about friendships. I wrote about how special my friendships are to me, and how hard they are to let go. And the dilemma I feel faced with a lot lately – How do you let a friendship be for what it is in the past and what it might never be in the future?

You can go over to Mandy’s blog to read my post, or yah know, don’t. After all, guest blogging allows me to be a little bit more anonymous, and therefore honest since not everyone reading knows me, so if you want to leave me floating in Mandy’s anonymous part of the blogosphere, that’s fine by me.

xoxo
Je