30 Days: Update three

Not to self: Eat before hot yoga (but apparently two hours before, to be safe). Had a bit of a queasy, weakling class last night that left be a bit panicky and now nervous to go back. I think eight hours without food, burning that many calories, is not a good combo. My bad.

On another note, I’ve completed seven straight days of yoga! Woot! I took off two pounds last week and my skin feels super clear. However, I’m still antsy as all hell during the last 20 minutes of class. It’s my goal this second week to try to let go of my impatience with my practice (it’s just so damn HOT). P.S. Didn’t that sound all official – “my practice.” I’m getting so yogi hippie.

Things I Wanted to Buy This Week But Couldn’t:

• Rad, matte fuchsia pink nail polish for $5.
• The Gratitude Journal app (which apparently Oprah swears by) that I read about on Mashable. Yes, I’ve cut myself off from iPhone apps too.
• A nifty salsa pot I saw at Trader Joe’s. It’s a pot full of all the herbs you need to make salsa!
• A $39 Pilates class on Groupon (yes, I’ve cut myself off from Groupon too).

I swear I’ll post about something else here soon.

Currently Feeling: Desperate for some summer weather – we’ve been drowning here in Seattle this past month.
Currently Anticipating: Starting a new book – I’m a little burnt out on the one I’m reading, but it’s a 500-pager, so taking awhile to finish!
Currently Loving: Caprese pasta with basil from my urban garden!

30 Days: Update two

Men are stinky. Like really, really stinky. I’m going to open a yoga studio that has women’s only classes cause man if it isn’t bad enough to be stuck in a room like sardines that you can’t breath in cause it’s 95 degrees plus, then it’s absolute hell to have to smell some big dude’s body odor for that hour, praying his sweat doesn’t drip on you, and OH.MY.GOD. did I tell you he FARTED. Like huge. Like next to me and then said, “Sorry!” and the class was silent. I don’t know who I felt more sorry for, me or that guy.

P.S. I’m never eating garlic fries at a baseball game again.

P.P.S. Money saved these last two days because I’m against CONSUMERISM and can’t buy anything:

• $59 on a yoga towel with special grippers on the bottom, so it sticks to your mat. I WANT!!
• $13.99 on the “Away We Go” soundtrack, which is my fav movie of 2009 and features music from Alexi Murdoch. One song came on my Pandora station yesterday, and I was all…”Oh my God, his voice is amazing. I need this soudtrack IMMEDIATELY cause then I’d be all calm, soothed and relaxed thinking about how life is great every day!”
• $69 on Tom’s (again). God damn these things. They just released the cutest wedges ever this week, which is much more my style than flats. AND they benefit starving children in Africa.

Currently Feeling: A little groggy from my 6am class today. I always think it’s a good idea to go home and go back to bed, but then I just feel groggy.
Currently Anticipating: SUPER fun weekend ahead – trying out Lark restaurant with the girls tonight, then heading to SAM Remix for Picasso/Warhol/Kurt Cobain exhibits. Tomorrow is a high school throwback kegger, and Paolo‘s wedding reception. Then Sunday a Mariner’s game! Woot!
Currently Needing: More yoga shorts, not pants. Man the pants are hot and stick to me. Love ‘em to lounge in, but not for hot yoga.

30 Days: Update

hot.power.vinyasa.yoga.is.f&*@ing.brutal

This is me with soaking wet hair, no makeup because it all ran off (post raccoon eyes),
sopped to the bone with sweat, wondering what in the HELL I’ve gotten myself into.

All I can say is I’m grateful I didn’t pass out.

One star up. 29 more to go.

30 Days

Hello June.

I’m starting you out by doing a challenge because, well, sometimes I’m a little crazy, but mostly I like to consistently challenge myself. So, I will be giving up my most beloved Sassy Fit for just one month to embark on finding my inner yogi.

A local yoga studio in Seattle, Urban Yoga Spa, is doing a 30-day yoga challenge in June. Basically, you can sign up to commit to three different levels. Level one is 20 days of yoga in June. Level two is 30 days. And level three is 30 days AND declaring one thing to give up during the challenge.

I’m going big or going home – level three all the way baby!

SO, I Jeanna Barrett, do hereby declare to give up…

CONSUMERISM

for the month of June.

Here’s the deal – I buy stuff. A lot of stuff. Like ice cream makers, and onion savers. And magazines. And eyeshadows, lip glosses and nail polish. Dresses to go out in, new leggings and boots, big earrings and dozens of bangles. Actually, more clothing, accessories and shoes than you could possibly imagine. I buy new furniture, water bottles, paintings, games, books, smelly soaps and wine glasses. I buy fancy candles, frames for my desk, Orchid plants…any little trinket “they” (people out to get me) put near the checkout stands. Sometimes when I’m bored, I’ll go to Ross or Target and just look for stuff to buy. Stuff, stuff, stuff.

Quite frankly, it’s embarrassing.

I thought about giving up consumerism for Lent. That never happened for one reason or the other. I continued to buy – then just before I received word on the yoga challenge, I read this post on Dooce.com about a woman who drew pictures of all the things she bought, every day, and posted them to her blog (eventually creating a book). A record in over consumption, I suppose.

Boy do I over consume.

So I’m detoxing – my wallet and my mind.

Today I’ve already saved:

• $12.95 on a Jack Johnson CD I thought I had to buy at Starbucks this morning (But I didn’t!)
• $48 + shipping on a pair of Tom’s I still feel like I can’t live without (God dammit they’re cute!)

That’s roughly ~ $70 richer. Seventy dollars that I’m transferring over to my savings. This is going to add up quick.

And tonight’s my first (hot-ish) Power Vinyasa class.

Wish me luck.

(And join me if you want!! Even if you’re a day or two late… leave a comment letting me know you’re on board, and I’ll create a little badge for your blog.)

Currently Feeling:A little nervous for my first class tonight – a Power Vinyasa to current pop and rock-n-roll music. I’m easing myself into HOT yoga (this one is at 95 degrees).
Currently Anticipating: Gathering all the photos from this weekend to share with you – SO much crazy fun.
Currently Loving: My new yoga bag that carries that mat on the bottom (hey – I bought it yesterday BEFORE June 1!)

Capital H. Double Capital M(s).

//via Flickr

A couple weeks ago, I was out with some of my guy friends, drinking brewskies at The Polish House on Capitol Hill. (If you’re from Seattle and haven’t been, it’s a community center that opens on Fridays only as an Polish beer hall and restaurant. Totally awesome, I know). I can’t remember what exactly the topic at hand was, but one of them asked me something along the lines of:

“Is that when/where you’re going to meet the guy you’re going to marry?”

And I promptly responded:

“Oh, I’ve already met him.”

Mostly, I was joking. Perhaps referencing some crush, acquaintance or old boyfriend worth rekindling a romance with. But later (as in, the type of thing you think about in the shower), I was thinking… WOW. I said that so fast and confidently I even surprised myself. And even weirder… what if it were true?

What if I’ve already met the guy I might share a mortgage or shop for garden gnomes with (because who doesn’t want one of those someday). Who I’ll argue over baby names, or what type of family dog we’ll buy and what we’ll name him. The man I’ll sit next to when we decide whether to dine in or dine out, whose family we’re going to spend Christmas with this year, what school we’re going to send our children to, or when it’s appropriate to talk to them about religion and politics, before they can form their own opinion.. Who I’ll decided between Bali vs. Greece for our honeymoon with, and red paint or blue paint for the kitchen (and where he’s going to let me sneak in some pink ).

It’s strange to think about those things. I suppose those are the things I equate with marrying someone one day.

It’s even stranger to think I might have already met Him. Capital H.

That perhaps he’s someone whose eye I caught on the bus, whose hand I shook at a networking event, or who I ran a 5K next to.

Who poured me a glass of wine one time, served nachos to me at my local bar, or sat next in the booth next to mine at trivia night.

Maybe it’s even someone I’ve known and laughed with before – for years. How ’bout that.

Maybe he’s someone I’ve laughed with for five minutes.

Hell, maybe he just made me laugh.

See – life is crazy. You never know who is going to be in yours for 5 minutes, 5 years or 50. Friends and acquaintances come and go – loves fizzle and rekindle every day. So many girls worry daily that they haven’t met “The Man They’re Going to Marry.” Double capital Ms. H.E.Double hockey sticks.

Isn’t it much easier, dare I say much HAPPIER, to not feel like you’re going in and out, every day, in search of something you can’t find or can’t have? Wouldn’t it be nice if you could just wake up every day and take it work hour by work hour, Sunday morning by Sunday morning, happy hour by happy hour – in no rush for any particular moment you feel you’re missing because someday IT.WILL.COME?

There wouldn’t be a need to try too hard, wear too much makeup, laugh a little too loud, stay out too late when you’d rather go home, just to make sure you’re not missing out on meeting Capital H. Double Capital Ms.

Really… there’s no need, see. You already met him. And some day, when it’s time, the universe will open up with a drink and a smile. And all the fussing wouldn’t have been worth it in the first place.

Cause Capital H. Double Capital Ms had been there all along.

Currently Feeling: Antsy for the four day weekend – hello Memorial Day weekend, the kick-off to awesome Seattle summers.
Currently Anticipating: Me + 13 friends in a cabin with a hot tub and barbecue on the lake. Perfection.
Currently Wondering: If I should try out the 30 day yoga challenge in June – decisions!

Rethinking the whole barefoot and pregnant thing

Saturday I attended Seattle Fashion Week for the first time with part of the Girl Power Hour Power Team… we got all gussied up and hit the town in bright, springtime dresses. I felt like a princess, not only were we given front row VIP tickets, but Vera Wang was showing her Spring and Fall 2010 line at the show (her first time ever in Seattle!)

I’ve never been to a legit fashion show before, and I’m not much of a wedding girl. But, of the fabulousness of these dresses was just unbelievable. From the fabric, to the feathers and sashes, to the buttons down the back. Everyone of her dresses took my breath away. I am now fully on the Vera Wang bandwagon and rethinking the whole “I don’t know that I want a wedding/I’ll just do it barefoot and pregnant on a beach.”

Sound the alarms!

Currently Feeling: Wide awake after an 8-9 p.m. workout and downing a Diet Coke. Awesome. I really aught to work on this staying up too late on a Sunday night thing.
Currently Anticipating: The start to another super busy May week – I hope the weather holds out!
Currently Wanting to “Feel This Week:” Good at my job.

This is Life. Jump In. Make it Count.

Last week I went to a fantastic “Belly, Body & Balance” workshop. With cocktails in hand, we split into groups and traveled around to three stations – Belly (how to make fresh guacamole and more with Chef’n tools), Body (an ab workout with Sassy Fit) and Balance (a workshop from Stratejoy on how to “trust your gut”).

If there’s one thing I’m always trying to be mindful of in my life, it’s balance - how much time I spend with my friends or my family, how much I’m giving myself to work, or working out, or reading, or volunteering. Making sure I take time to calm down, take a break, have a drink or three, breath slowly… 1…2…3.

Balance is top of mind since I’ve left college and entered the busy, stressful world of “my career.”And while sometimes I feel like I know all the answers, there are moments when I’m reminded that I can always learn something new.

Molly from Stratejoy gave me the most poignant damn 20 minutes of learning that I’ve had in a longtime.

Not only did she teach me that balance isn’t about spending an hour a day on the six pieces of the pie in life (relational, personal, professional, financial, spiritual or physical), it’s about making sure that when you’re going to bed, and when you wake up in the morning, that you’re happy. And calm. And stress and anxiety free.

That should be the definition of balance.

I’ve always had the list thing all figured out – balancing and planning my week. Making sure I’m on top of my calendar for the weeks and months to come. But Molly told us, – our little group of spandexed women sitting cross-legged – to take a step back from our calendar and not decide what you need to do (because it will all get done) but how do you want to feel.

She recommended sitting down on Sundays, while preparing for the week, and deciding…

How do you want to feel this week?

And once you’ve decided how you want to feel… what have you committed to? Will these commitments help you experience your desired feeling? Or do you need to cancel or add things that will.

So this is officially my new Sunday evening routine.

How do I want to feel, universe? Is it playful, sassy, flirty, fashionable, strong, positive or frugal?

This week, it’s healthy. Next week… who knows.

That’s the interesting thing about balance – it’s a constant ebb and flow. An up and a down. And it’s a wonder it took me this long to realize it’s going to take me listening to my thoughts, feelings and needs on a weekly basis to ever really feel like I’ve conquered it all.

You can see my pics and notes from the event in my Whrrl story here.

Currently Feeling: Smiley after a great day with my family.
Currently Anticipating: Sharing my new herb garden with you (tomorrow); I’m so excited to watch things grow!
Currently Loving: Strawberry shortcake. I can’t get enough of it lately!

A nice smile just might do it

This weekend I finally got around to watching “Up In the Air.” Super great movie. I like the kind of movies that make you think…about life and love. The pursuit of happiness or lack there of. One scene in the movie was absolutely brilliant, a dialogue touching on the “American Girl’s Dream” – a husband, house, two point five kids and a car – a dream that I once entertained too, then realized there’s about 20 more years of livin’ I need to do.

In the scene, 23-year-old Natalie, is talking to Ryan (George Clooney) and Alex (Vera Farmiga), both of whom are 34+, single and married to their jobs, right after her boyfriend and hoped-for future husband broke up with her.

Natalie: I thought I’d be engaged by now (no offense).
Alex and Ryan: No. None taken.
Natalie: When I was 16, I thought by 23 I’d be married, maybe have a kid, corner office by day, entertaining at night. I was supposed to be driving a Grand Cherokee by now.
Alex: Life can underwhelm you that way.
Natalie: Um, where did you think you’d be, by um… (nods at her, not knowing her age)
Alex: Well, uh…it doesn’t work that way.
Ryan: No…at a certain point, you stop with the deadlines.
Alex: They can be a little counterproductive.
Natalie: I don’t want to say anything that’s anti feminist. I really appreciate that your generation did for me.
Alex: It was our pleasure.
Natalie: But sometimes it feels like no matter how much success I have, it’s not gonna matter until I find the right guy.
Alex: You really thought this guy was the one?
Natalie: I coulda made it work. He really fit the bill, yah know.
Ryan: The bill?
Natalie: White collar. College grad. Loves dogs, likes funny movies. Six foot one. Brown hair. Kind eyes. Works in finance, but is outdoorsy, ya know, on the weekends. I always imagined he’d had a single-syllable name. Like um, Matt or John or Dave. In a perfect world he drives a Four Runner and the only thing he loves more than me is his Golden Lab.

And a nice smile.

How about you?
Alex: Let me think, uh… by the time you’re 34, all the physical requirements just go out the window. Well, you secretly pray that he’ll be taller than you.

Um, not an asshole would be nice. Just someone who enjoys my company and comes from a good family. You don’t think about that when you’re younger. Oh and someone who wants kids…likes kids. Healthy enough to play with his kids. Oh and, please, let him earn more money than I do. You might not understand that now. But believe me, you will one day. Otherwise that’s a recipe for disaster.

And hopefully some hair on his head. But I mean, even that’s not a deal breaker these days.

And a nice smile. Yeah… a nice smile. A nice smile just might do it.

I loved everything about this scene… how Ryan says, “At some point you just stop with the deadlines.” How Natalie rattles off her “bill” of what a perfect guy would be (because how ridiculous are long lists of all the insignificant qualities your “future partner” should have). How both women mention that really, at the end of the day, they’re both just looking for a smile.

I could have been Natalie at one point. Probably was, although it’s weird for me to think back on that Jeanna.

I had a friend once who told me that every single one of his girlfriends have wanted to marry him. I don’t know what it is… but I think us girls are trained to look at every guy, or love, or relationship or boyfriend, as the future father of children. That in college, I didn’t really know what to do, or how to think of myself as single too far past graduation. You grow up hearing stories of all the people who married their college sweetheart. So you think that’s just going to be you some day, naturally. And if it’s not him, then it’ll be the next serious relationship. Or the next.

That used to be me. Until I figured out that was neither attractive, productive nor realistic.

And while I’m not all the way an Alex, it’s closer to reality for me. I don’t want to live my life by deadlines. I don’t want to feel like I need to accomplish anything by a certain age or time, and if I don’t, I’ll be lonely, or left out, or missing something. Now that’s counterproductive.

At the end of the day, I just want to find someone – or something - that makes me smile.

Currently Feeling: Excited for my mom and dad’s new family business plan that we came up with over wine tasting today… add a little wine into anything to make dreams big and beautiful.
Currently Anticipating: A full week of exercise… bootcamp, kickball and a belly class. Time to get serious – I have a cabin weekend in Lake Chelan to plan for because I’m not taking off my bathing suit for four days.
Currently Loving: The sisterly time I had this weekend – happy hour, a sleepover with pizza, breakfast, shopping – having a sister is seriously the best.

Here we go again *fingers crossed*

Wow, hey, hello… I officially took a little six month blogcation. How did that happen?

If you haven’t noticed already, I’ve totally revamped the blog. During my little blogcation, I thought a lot about what this blog meant to me. What it was. What it’s become since I started it at age 24. I’m not going to spend all this time getting introspective and emo like here and here, but I will say my blog started to feel like it didn’t “fit” anymore, which has been one of the couple reasons you haven’t heard much from me. So I crossed it over to WordPress (the cool kids platform). I’m opening it up to be more of a “Google me and find it” or “Link it from important things like email signatures,” which I’ve never really had the balls to do until now. (Pardon my French.) And even still, it scares me. (The Google and out of the closet blog thing, not the balls.)

It took me a month to transfer everything over and scan 660 posts (!!!) for the details I’d rather actually keep private from all the Interwebs, which is apparently 191. You know, part of starting a blog at 24, right after getting your first job out of college (read: expendable income) and moving to your first apartment in the city (read: expendable income + 30 bars in walking distance), is that a number of things were a tit bit inappropriate for what I care to share now. For all you early adopters of my blog, you’ve read details and stories that no one visiting here will ever see again. Lucky you! (If there’s even any of you left since I totally botched transferring my feed and lost 3/4 of my readers! ACK!) Now I really am starting over.

Never fear – I’m not planning a total snooze fest. But, my life have transitioned to be a little less about writing about drinking and dating (although I’m single again), to a bit more about hobbies (cooking, reading, working out, city events) and my profession (tech and social media).

The short of it – expect a bit more geekery.

So here I go again… trying really hard to get back into the swing of my blog. I’ve bought a fun little book to get me sharing my life and thoughts again in the easy manner I was once akin to. I’m feeling a bit rusty since I’ve been gone so long.

AND, I also bought myself a little gift to supplement the time I have to spend blogging – a pink Asus Eee PC netbook! (No, not an iPad). The thought is I’ll have some bus time to blog, but I’m not gonna lie, I’ve been feeling a bit awkward busting it out on the bus, (Like – oh hey, look at me and my PINK, tiny computer) so hopefully that’ll get a little easier.

I can’t promise fireworks and unicorns, but I can honestly say that I miss writing and desperately want to get back to the place I was at. If there’s one thing that reading through 660 posts will teach you – it’s that cataloging my life has been an amazing, eye-opening journey. I read things I don’t remember thinking and laughed about memories I haven’t thought about in awhile. I have spent a lot of time and energy creating a digital record of my life, which is really, really cool when you think about it.

Maybe I’ll have a tiny six-month hole when I look back in the years moving forward, but six months is better than forever, I suppose.

Currently Feeling: Ready to embrace a week of Sassy Fit, and healthy eating – I’m going to Miami in two weeks biatches!
Currently Loving: Spring being just around the corner – already thinking of skirts, sandals, Pike Place market in the sun during lunch, camping and trips. It’s going to be a fun, single spring and summer!
Currently Reading: “Stolen Lives” by Malika Oufkir.

Neither here, nor there

Right now, as we *speak,* I’m sitting in my office, with just the light of a lamp and the glowing offices of the buildings across the street from mine in downtown Seattle. The office is void of people (which, actually, doesn’t happen quite that often in a tech startup. Usually there are developers working way past the time I leave). It’s eerie quiet. Here I am, all by my lonesome, eating a peanut chicken Lean Cuisine in front of my computer, at my desk, at 7 o’clock at night.

Ooh buddy, does that ever sound sexy.

I have to tell you, in the split second I realized all of this – I instantly felt compelled to write about it. (Maybe my three-month writer’s block/lack of time to write is starting to wan). See, I had one of those, “OH.MY.GOD.THIS.IS.MY.LIFE.” moments.

I know you’ve had them.

Like, what if this is just the beginning of me turning into the 45-year-old, lonely workaholic who can’t find a husband and doesn’t have children, even though she wants them, because she works too much and has always put success before love?! I saw myself as Scrooge, flying through the night in my pajamas (hopefully I put on underwear this time), having the Ghost of Christmas past hovering over my desk, looking down and saying, “See Je. This is the moment where you decided you’d rather just stay and work late, eating at your desk, so you could get more checked off your list. And then it was all downhill from there.”

Enter image of cats circling your body and licking your face after you choked on a chicken bone by yourself in your fancy condo (at least that’s a plus), with no one around to save you.

Recently, I made a pretty big life change that I have yet to talk about here, nor will I probably say much. But I am single again, deciding first and foremost that I wanted to concentrate on myself and my career, among a few other personal reasons. That I didn’t have time for someone else anymore. That I’ve been doing too many things at 75% and not a smaller list of items at 100%. For me, the easier decision at the moment has been to move forward without one of those time-consuming items – a relationship.

I find myself with more time to work late without feeling guilty or giving excuses, or missing out on plans, or stressing because I’d rather just feel better about my workload by, well, working.

I’m not saying that all of this, at 28, will lead me to a life of loneliness. I am, for the most part, exaggerating since any other night but tonight I’d be at a wine event, or happy hour, or out with friends, or at a networking event. But being alone, at an age I would consider too late in life, is a scary thought. I feel like my worlds are splitting into two sets of people the closer I edge toward 30. There are those who cannot wait to get married, settle down and start a family. I have friends who are actually planning on the days, months, year they want to get pregnant. That’s SO exciting for them. I don’t know what it’s like to share a life with someone, to the extent of planning children, but I bet it’s such an amazing time in life, and I’m thrilled to share their happiness with them. Please believe me when I say I’m not here to judge that choice, nor to say I’m making a better decision in life. Or that you can’t have career success while in a marriage.

It’s just not where I’m at. I can’t exactly say that I’ve never been the girl who dreamed about babies or marriage, or what my wedding colors were going to be. Perhaps I was… but now, I’m too far away to remember what used to be important. I only remember what is important now. And it’s not Princess cuts, suburbs, or hitting some life moment I told myself at 13 I’d do before I was 30. Unfortunately, it creates a bit of divide sometimes with old friends – those who are ready to settle down into a certain lifestyle, and those who aren’t. I supposed we’ll start to have less and less in common until I decide that’s what I want too. Or it catches me by surprise (which what I hear happens). In the meantime, I’m neither here (at the gates of complete career success) or there (ready to get married).

So, I guess it’s a few more peanut chicken Lean Cuisines at my desk, by myself, at 7 o’clock at night.

I’ll just make sure it’s *boneless* chicken.

Currently Feeling: Ready for that Chardonnay at home in my fridge.
Currently Anticipating: A birthday party tomorrow after Seattle Startup Drinks, and a big ole “gold and silver” house party on Saturday after a sushi Tweet Up!
Currently Loving: Planning for SXSW. Looks like I’ll be going to the music festival for work. Zing!