Welcome, Obama – no hyphen, just OUR President

Today the first President, many say, who has truly united and excited America since John F. Kennedy will begin his Presidential reign. I read CNN’s Campbell Brown’s commentary this morning on the bus to work, which she delivered yesterday on MLK Day, and I thought it was a great thing to post as Barack Obama gets sworn in this morning as our 44th President:

(CNN) — Barack Obama didn’t run to be the next Martin Luther King Jr., just the next president.

But Tuesday, in that small window of time before he takes on two wars and a crippling economic crisis, thousands will look to Obama as the unofficial guardian of a legacy of justice and equality.

Many of you had the chance to watch King’s monumental words once again in their entirety Monday [here] on CNN.

His dream and his life’s work resonate now more than ever. Certainly, they resonate with the president-elect, who summoned King’s words Sunday at the Lincoln Memorial.

Obama: “Directly in front of us is a pool that still reflects the dream of a King and the glory of a people who marched and bled so that their children might be judged by the character’s content.”

In his day, the Rev. Martin Luther King Jr. was called a great black leader. Then, in time, as the approved language changed, a great African-American leader.

It’s obvious now, all these decades later, that the adjectives and the hyphen kept us from seeing a more fundamental truth: What’s finally clear on this day we honor him, which falls on the eve of the inauguration of Barack Obama, is that Martin Luther King Jr was a great American leader, period. No qualifying adjectives or hyphen about it.

A fundamental part of King’s legacy is that his struggle allowed Barack Obama to emerge as a leader, too. No adjectives. No hyphens. Just the president.

Currently Feeling: Super nervous and anxious for my boyfriend.
Currently Anticipating: Free make-up at Nordstrom’s this morning – I’m heading there when it opens! (The benefit of working downtown).
Currently Loving: Pairing chocolate brown and black together – feels so chic, yet I used to think it was a total taboo. Man, have I grown.

An open-ended letter to an important part of my future

Dear Marriage and Babies,

You give me hives.

I wish I was being facetious. I’m not. Lately, I increasingly feel anxious – like I’m going to have a god damn panic attack and be admitted to the loony bin –when I hear about a friend getting engaged, or how you, Marriage, are “a lot of hard work” or even worse, divorce. And I’m teetering on stark-raving crazy, Babies, when I hear about how hard it is to have you, the whole pregnancy gig, postpartum depression, etc. I start to feel a bit short of breath, and this big ole uncomfortable, nervous lump forms – like a butterfly in my chest.

Yesterday I read Dooce’s post/discussion about what’s more difficult, Babies or Marriage. She wrote about how she *literally* checked herself into a mental hospital six months after experiencing you for the first time, Babies, and how she’s been through countless hours of counseling on her own and with her husband, to improve you, Marriage. Well, it all just gave me that constricted, hives feeling again. And I want to shout, “Don’t Make Me Do It, Captain!”

I bet you anything, if asked, Dooce would say it was ALL worth it. Everyone would. But, I don’t buy it. I mean, I’ve heard speeches from people who have lost limbs, been addicted to painkillers, or been through cancer, and they all say they wouldn’t change anything because “it makes them who they are today.” Great. Congratulations. That still doesn’t mean that I want to experience what they did. And right now, I’m not sure that I want to experience you, Marriage or Babies, anytime in the next decade.

I want to live in my carefree 20s forever, and never cross the bridge into your unchartered adult waters. I never feel old enough for either of you. When I hear about people in high school who are married with babies, I screech, “But we’re only TWENTY-SIX!” And this year it’ll be, “But we’re only TWENTY-SEVEN!” And I’m sure I’ll be singing the same tune at 28 and 29 too.

See, I know I want both of you, SOME DAY. It’s just that that some day is always in the future, even as the years go by. When will I feel PRESENT about you? I try to talk to my girl friends about how uncomfortable or not ready I am for either of you, but half of them give me the countdown speech:

Well, we need to have Babies in our 30s because if you have one in your 40s, then YOU’LL.JUST.DIE, and you want your first kid at 30, 32 at the latest, and you want a few years with your husband before having kids, which is 28 or 29 – and you probably want to be engaged for at least a year or more before Marriage so that’s 26 or 27, and you, ideally, want to date your potential husband for a couple years before getting engaged, so you should have met him, like, yesterday.

And this is supposed to make me feel better? My anxiety just increased 10 fold.

Everyone wants to know these days if I can picture myself with my significant other and you, Marriage. “Are you guys going to get MAHWIED?” is all I hear. The eff if I know. It’s not that I can’t see myself with him, necessarily, it’s just that I. don’t. think. about. it. I know some hopeless romantics are reading this right now and saying the quintessential Polly Prissy Pants line, “Well that just means he’s not THE ONE for you.” Riiight. And they know this because…they read it in their crystal ball?

Really, all I can think about is keeping my sanity. And my bank account. Cause it’s damaged enough as it is. And by sexy suede boots, expensive makeup, luxurious lingerie and more earrings than you could count. NOT by 14-tiered mascarpone cakes, house payments, diaper service, nannies or sippy cups. And the latter list is SO much less appealing than the first, so I’d rather not trade. Thankyouverymuch, Marriage and Babies.

So please, please, can I drag out these “single” 20s for as long as possible? And can my friends stop giving me the countdown speech, or can you cover my ears every time there’s any dose of “reality,” along the lines of cracked nipples or losing the *spark* in the bedroom, coming my way? Cause really, what about that gives me something to look forward to? I’d like to live in my little 20-something bubble, without either of you, for as long as humanly possible.

I’ll get back to you when I change my mind.

Thanks,
20-Something

What I want to accomplish in 2009

I’m all about goals – a tidy little list that I can review and check off. Plans and goals are the way of my life. So, I’ve decided to make a short little list, in addition to my long term Bucket List, of the things I want to specifically accomplish in 2009:

• Take a Spanish class
• Start my social media blog/resume site
• Buy a bike and ride to work at least a couple times this summer
• Get a “Live, Laugh, Love” tattoo on my foot
• Run in the 5K Fremont Oktoberfest BrewHaHa race
• Take a jewelry making class so I can learn to make some sweet, big dangley earrings and possibly open an Etsy shop
• Purchase my Seattle Zagat quide and start checking off a few of those restaurants!
• Figure out the school I want to go to for grad school for a Masters in Digital Media/Social Media, and apply by the end of the year

I think that’s a pretty great list! Onward and upward toward living life to my FULLEST!

xoxo
Je

This Year’s Love Had Better Last

Exciting news in 20-Something’s blog land – I’m closing out the end of 2008 with my 500th post. Wow. That’s a lot of narcissism. Thanks for sticking with me…cheers to the New Year, friends, lovers and randoms!

You know you can’t wait for it –
20-Something’s Year in Review:

Best Books I Read: “Fieldwork,” by Mischa Berlinski “The Wonder Spot,” by Melissa Banks, “Eat, Pray, Love” by Elizabeth Gilbert, “More Than You Know,” by Beth Gutcheon and “Water for Elephants” by Sarah Gruen. (I can never narrow this down).
Favorite Movie: “Sex and the City: The Movie” and all the girly festivities and pampering that went along with it!
Favorite New Band(s): Vampire Weekend and Kings of Leon. I cannot stop playing that “Sex on Fire” song! Sooo good.
Best Restaurant I Discovered: Black Bottle. (You must try their chocolate cake – chocolate lava center surrounded with caramel and topped with vanilla gelato. It’s to. die. for!)
Best Happy Hour I Discovered: Twist’s happy hour, which is extra long (4-11pm!) with drink specials and more than 20 food items starting at $2.50!
New TV Show Addiction: Top Chef (there’s a lot more to list here since I got cable for the first time in three years, but I won’t go into boring TV detail).
Best Vacation: It’s a tie between Vegas in March with BD and Mexico in May with my family (the first family vacation we’d ever taken that required a plane).
Best Celebration: Barack Obama being elected President (!!!).
Best Month: September. The best trip EVER with Baby Daddy to the Westbeach Resort on Orcas Island. Oktoberfest in Fremont. My all-expenses paid work trip to sunny and beautiful South Beach in Miami, where we won “Best Booth” for the event I project managed.
Biggest Best Purchase(s): A PC to accompany my Mac, and my pretty new cream micro-suede couch.
Biggest Blunder: Peeing on a federal building.
Favorite Video: Me, of course.
Worst Fashion Trend: Crocs. I know they’re not new to 2008, but I’m holding out here. WHY.DOES.ANYONE.WEAR.THESE.IN.PUBLIC??? Every time I see them, I wrinkle my nose, frown, scoff and get really annoyed. Those things are effing ugly. Keep them in the garden, if you must. *End rant*
Favorite New Fashion Trend: Skinny jeans (yikes, I know. I can’t believe I’m admitting this, let alone wearing them), scarves and lots o’ layers!
Best Party: Tie between the girly sex toy party and Luke and Jana’s wedding.
Biggest Accomplishment: Quitting the Jesus factory and scoring a new job in marketing (with actual paid vacation, a short downtown commute and a pretty decent raise) after a long and arduous nine-month search, more than 30 resumes and cover letters, and 10 different interviews!
Biggest (Failed) Accomplishment: Finishing x365 and NaBloPoMo, and giving up my loved P.I. blog, “Bright Lights, Date City.”
Least Favorite Life Change: Losing my friend Kelly to the mid-West.
Best Life Change: My sexy boyfriend – and finding love, again. Or maybe my color-coordinated bookshelf? It’s hard to decide between those two. OR Bestie Amanda moving back home after three years away – what to choose!
Best New Activity: Pie baking! (Okay, so I only baked one, but it was still fun to learn!) No, but really, I love the Nia fitness class I started attending, to be picked back up after the first of the year.
Best Decision: Sticking it out through my long, terrible and torturous eight-month pro-bono project with The Taproot Foundation. I never want to be a quitter!

On the horizon in 2009…

New Year’s Resolution for 09: Call my dad and grandparents once a month.
Goal to Accomplish Before the End of 09: Move to San Francisco, or very minimum, somewhere new. Seattle feels a bit small for me now, and I feel the need to spread my wings and live with no regrets. I’ve been talking about it for a long time, so I’m just going to DO IT. I’m starting to update the resume and sift through Craigslist now… *fingers crossed* it works out before the end of 2009.
What I’m Most Looking Forward to in 09: The wedding of my Dolphin Sister in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico.
Scary Reality of 09: My sister will turn 21 in October. Wow.

2008 Photo Recap

(To the tune of “This Year’s Love” by David Gray, so put your headphones in. Also the captions come up quick and choppy when it was uploaded to the Internet, not sure why, so you’ll have to read quick!)

Take one friend down, pass her around the bride circle

Back in July, I wrote about the engagement of one of my nearest and dearest friends, a Dolphin Sister. (Regular readers might remember it as the post I was ridiculed and shamed for using “OG Gangsta” incorrectly. Oh the agony. Oh the defeat.)

Flash forward four months and the lovely couple have now set a date for (ACK!) five months away in Puerto Vallarta, Mexico. Therefore, a few of the bridesmaids gathered this past weekend to do a little dress shopping (and wine guzzling, of course) since the time is a ticking to select a dress, have it altered, etc.

The evening consisted of a lovely sushi dinner at a hip little place in Wallingford, a lovely little wedding boutique that gave me sticker shock but made up for it with a lovely little glass of champagne, which helped to mask my “another one bites the dust” sentiment with “OH! Yippee! You’re getting mahwied!”

Four of the lovely (HOT!) bridesmaids – all high school and junior high besties.

FREE champagne! Whoop!

I made her try this one on as a joke. Always up to my devious ways.

Albeit expensive, the dress really were spectacular.

Oh, I can’t wait for you to get MAHWIED, Dolphin!

On the agenda for this weekend

• A quiet night tonight of bowling with my boyfriend after my busy week. Oh don’t you worry, I still plan to knock a couple brewskies back at the ole alley.
• Happy hour and wedding dress shopping with my Dolphin Sisters tomorrow. Yikes. This is really fun, but also super weird to me that one of my Dolphins is getting married. I’ll probably get all weird, teary and soggy on her and say, “Remember when we had teenage acne and used to eat nothing but fat free bean burritos because clearly we were FAT. Although that didn’t stop us from smoking doobies 24-7 and eating Fruit Loops! Weren’t those the days?!!”

Those are the only two things on the agenda right now, which is good since hopefully I can lock myself in a closet for the rest of the weekend and not spend any money. Since all it really takes for me to blow my whole bank account and all chances to not live in a cardboard box if I lost my job, is two drinks or a “sale.”

TGIF!
–
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

Car-less in the City

A month or so ago, I started thinking about what it would be like to sell my car… and started to question, “Do I really need a car since I work and live downtown?”

Most everyone I posed the question to thought I was crazy – but all I could think about was the money it’d save. So, I thought about setting a November 1 date to attempt to go “car-less” for a period of time before I really decided to kiss my beloved little red Bug away.

Be careful for what you wish for.

In the hectic-ness of Halloween and then the election, I missed my November 1 set car-less date. But, as fate would have it–I lost my car key Election night, so I was intermittently forced to go car-less anyway. Unfortunately though, this little amendment to the car-less plan is going to cost me $220 to replace my computer-chip key that has to be purchased and programmed from the dealership. (AN.NOY.ING)

In short: my car has been parked for the last two plus weeks, and I’ve been making my way through the city by bus. And I can tell you, for an extremely independent woman, living without a car is effing brutal.

It’s nice and all to walk more places (with increasing blisters on my heeled feet) and to save money on gas and cab fare (taking the bus to bars), but it is IMPOSSIBLE to do a lot of things that I’m used to—like running to another neighborhood for dinner with friends on a Thursday night. Oh no, this now requires two hours worth of busing and three transfers to get home, but “home” is really six blocks away—at 10:30 at night. I don’t have that kind of time or energy when I’m tired after work. So, instead of traveling for two hours via bus to hang out for dinner for one hour, I skip out on the dinner. [NOT OKAY in my book.]

By the time I get most places by bus, I’m too exhausted or annoyed [read: increasing amount of time on the bus = spending more time with crazies than I do with my own friends and family. I don’t think this is good for the soul] to want to accomplish the goal of my errand in the first place.

I would like to go car-less at some point in my life, I just don’t think it’s feasible while living in Seattle, with family 30-minutes north and two-hours south; friends who live 20-minutes plus from my house by car; and a boyfriend who lives 30-minutes plus by car.

In conclusion: I am going to learn from my new crazy friends how to panhandle money to save up for a replacement car key since Christmas, the economy and saving for a friend’s destination wedding in five months deems it an impossible expense at the time.

ARGH!

Currently Feeling: Sick of staying home to save money this week.
Currently Anticipating: Catching a drink with Amanda and our old friend in Ballard tonight.
Currently Regretting: My lunch-time retail therapy. Oh, but I got two beautiful new scarves!

I’m a freakin’ blubbering baby

SO many things are making me tear up today.

From Pretty in the City:

From Sweats in the City:

From Metroblogging Seattle (my old stomping grounds):

Pretty good, is right. The comments in my Facebook and Twitter accounts keep giving me tingles…

“[Anonymous] is speechless. there are not words profound enough to explain what it feels like to finally be proud of this country.”

[Anonymous] is (for the first time) proud to be an American.

[Anonymous] is not afraid to admit he’s feeling just a little bit inspired by and proud of his country today.

I am, since backpacking through 13 European countries and learning about our country through the eyes of the world, also proud for the first time in a long time. The bottom line is that our country was a whole lot better eight years ago, before the Bush administration, and it will hopefully be repaired in another four to eight years. (It’s about OPTIMISM not PESSIMISM). For a lot of people, Obama makes us feel optimistic.

Last night was amazing. I can’t tell you how freakin’ proud I am to be part of this election, proud to do my part to vote Obama into office and share the love with my fellow Americans who all believe in and WANT a better country and a better future.

I will, without a doubt, remember it 20 years from now.

(And that’s the last I’ll say about it, for all of you who are burnt out.

Forgive me while I get a little Spiritual

I have spent the last 10 years of my life or so, scoffing at religion. By religion, I should say Christianity.

I grew up “Christian”—attended Vacation Bible School, Sunday School, church, youth groups, Young Life, etc. Then somewhere around high school, I believe, I started to grow my own mind and opinion about it all and thought it seemed like a bunch of hocus pocus more than anything. I didn’t believe life should be less enjoyable because “God” didn’t want you to drink, have premarital sex, cohabit, or do any of the general teenage sinning that I enjoyed. I couldn’t wrap my mind around really believing in parting the sea, or feeding 300 with one loaf of bread, or all the other far-fetched stories in the Bible. My mind screamed, “Where’s the PROOF?!” I also didn’t agree with shunning the gay community or the “Our way or the highway” mentality that I encountered at most Christian churches, so I took the highway.

I’ve spend my 20s scoffing and rolling my eyes at Christianity, church and proselytizers. Funny, since I spent a good three years out of college, working at a Christian corporation where we had a chapel in the building and regular prayer every morning. The whole thing gave me the hee bee gee bees. I masqueraded around as a Christian at work, and came home and went out every night, kissing, smoking and fornicating.

But recently, what some might call a “little tiny door” has opened in my mind. If I had to place a finger on it, it started with reading, “Eat, Pray, Love.” Here was a woman who scoffed and rolled eyes and strayed away from religion just as much as I did, but she began to believe in and search for a “God.” Not a Christian God, necessarily, but a spiritual being for the whole world and everyone. This “God” made more sense to me.

I started to think.

Then this summer, I picked up “Breakfast with Buddha”—the story of a regular ole’ corporate America middle-aged man who drives cross country, unexpectedly, with his sister’s guru. Again, in this book, was the notion that “God” could be one being for everyone across the world and across religions. My favorite part of the book is when the main character, again skeptical and scoffing just like me, asks the guru what religion he is, and the guru answers something along the lines of: “I’m not an “ism” and “tian” or an “ist.”

I’m not a Budd-ist, a Chris-tian or following Hindu-ism.

And so, here was something I could wrap my head around. The belief that perhaps there was a “God,” but not associated with any religion or rules–just a way to feel better and do better in life–a lot of what Buddhism actually is about, not “worshiping a big-bellied bronze statue,” surprisingly. So, I ordered “Awakening the Buddha Within” by Lama Surya Das. Sort of hippie and dorky, I know. Who would have thought I’d end up searching for some sort of spirituality to grasp on to—I guess everyone does at some point.

So, this morning I read this:

Men and women who are ready to deepen or formally embark on a spiritual journey are typically standing at some kind of emotional crossroads. Often they are grieving over some loss or disappointment—separation from or death of a loved one, a personal crisis, health problems, or an overriding sense that something is wrong or missing. Sometimes they are simply looking for a way to better love the world…

…For example, I frequently speak to men and women who complain that even though they have painstakingly followed Life’s Little Operating Manual, they feel as though they are coming up empty-handed. Superficially, it may seem as though they are having work problems or relationship problems or health problems, but scratch the surface and there are deeper unresolved questions. Some of these people seem to have so much—family, career, education. Everything seems to be going their way, yet they are often dissatisfied…

…Often when we think about our lives and our experiences, we feel certain that in some cosmic way it must be making sense, but sometimes it seems there are too many problems and too much chaos for us to ever get a handle of life. We don’t know why this is so, but on some level we know that we are responsible for our own destiny. When we first hear about karma, the possibility of rebirth, and the ineluctable laws of cause and effect, these teachings not only make sense, they are reassuring.

For Tibetan Buddhists, because karma affects everything, there are no chance occurrences. It is no accident, for example, that you are picking up this book. As you read this sentence, all of your past actions, your present thoughts, as well as your intentions for the future have brought you to this specific intersection of your life where you have opened a book…

So, here I am. Everything seems to be going my way, but I’ve been feeling slightly dissatisfied for a short time now. Perhaps it is an overriding sense that something is wrong or missing, which led to my interest in Buddhism—and reading this book.

We’ll see where it takes me.

Currently Feeling: Lucky to have found such a cool Craigslist random.
Currently Anticipating: A night out on the town, making my Halloween costume with my mom, and the pumpkin patch with Mike, Caden, Vanessa and Derek on Sunday.
Currently Watching: Dexter, Season 2, Disc 3.

Moving on out, Moving on out

When I get back from Leavenworth this Sunday, one roommate will be gone and another will be moved in.

I’m quite looking forward to having things back to normal again, and I’m sure Stella is too. They say cats can sense things, and I think she’s been a little nervous these last three weeks. At first we removed the carpet, then we were without futon, then couch, and then boxes started appearing in all corners, a new couch came in, her food and water dish switched, Sarah’s room was packed up and gone… She’s been sort of wandering around, crying, and her eyes are watering (which happens every time she goes to the vet or in the car, so I think it’s a sign of stress).

I can commiserate with the poor thing; it’s a bit weird to see your life and surroundings sort of packed up around you, but still living in the midst of all of it. I’ve created one “normal” spot in the living room, which still looks like some sort of livable space with a couch, coffee table and TV. I’ve been frantically trying to fill the holes of ownership – I realized how little I actually have when it’s all that’s filling a two bedroom place. So, much of my time lately has been scowering Web sites or stores for good deals on wall art, plants, furniture, etc. Losing a roommate has proven to be a little expensive.

My new roommate’s name is Becca, She’s a Bellingham native, so, we’ll have living there in common. She’s 25 and a recent graduate of nursing school. She’ll be starting at Harborview on Monday. When interviewing the girls who emailed me, she immediately stood out to me as someone extremely warm and good-natured. I’m quite lucky that it was a mutual decision to be roommates, and I’m looking forward to having someone around again to talk to and split mutual household duties.

I will miss Sarah, dearly, but all good things must come to an end sometime. And I think it will be a positive change for us both…

Currently Feeling: Annoyed.
Currently Anticipating: A car ride with my bestie.
Currently Reading: Chelsea Talks Smack – a blog Cari recommended