Somebody’s Updated the Bible

Dear Journa-Nerds:

World Vision was just delivered the new 2006 AP Stylebook, which I assume was just published. Here are some new or changed entries that I find useful for my everyday life and hope you do too:

retarded: Apparently it is politically correct to say mentally retarded. “Do not use retard,” says the AP Stylebook. Ladies and Gentlemen, the stylebook has moved into listing socially PC words and slang. I wonder if they’re going to add an entry soon that says: Homosexual: Do not use “fag.” I hope so.

Taser: The correct spelling and capitalization of an electronic control device or stun gun. Did you know that TASER is actually the acronym for Thomas A. Swift’s Electronic Rifle? Fascinating stuff.

20-something: Since this is in the title of my blog, it’s good to know that I used it correct, even before it was in the stylebook. Man, I’m good.

Yahoo: “a trademark for an online computer service.” Phew. I was confused as to what “Yahoo” was, and am glad they cleared up my misperceived notion of it being a chocolate-flavored drink in a yellow bottle.

gay: Ok. So I read further down my list of “changes and updates” in the new AP Stylebook, and apparently gay was added. The gist of it says that lesbian is more common when writing about woman-on–woman action, and that gay is actually preferred over the term homosexual, except in clinical contexts or references to sexual activity. Apparently I’ve been belittling gay people this whole time if I’ve ever used the term homosexual. I feel so ashamed.

transgender: Here’s a piece of advice folks: always use the pronoun that the transgender (not transsexual) prefers. If they don’t specify, then use the pronoun that they currently look like…he/she/him/her. I guess I’ll stop referring to them as “Shims.”

blog: Blog has been deleted from the AP Stylebook, therefore, this blog doesn’t really exist.

Love,
Jeanna

P.S. I had a near-death experience this weekend and have decided to share it with all of you since I’m lucky to be alive, and you’re all lucky to still be reading my blogs. Check back…

How Much Do You Know About Seattle?

Ok. I blogged a novel about my Sasquatch weekend, so don’t miss that below. However, I took this Seattle quiz today while at work (always working hard yah know) and thought I’d post it here for all of you to try. Some of the questions were difficult! I got 18/32. Eh.

Take the quiz for yourself here.

See what I answered correctly and what I missed here.

I’ve Got the Hiccups

Last night I spent some time imbibing with a few good friends of mine. For the last three weeks I’ve enforced a strict “No Week-Time Drinking” rule, however, I can’t resist the temptation when everyone is planning on going out. I don’t want to miss out on the action! We gathered the troops and ventured down to Viceroy in Belltown, a swanky, smooth bar with dim lighting, low brown leather couches in clusters and mirrors everywhere. It’s very New York city, and a great low-key bar to gather at with friends. We were sitting outside on the patio, basking in the warmth, (of the heat lamp that is. I’m not that delusional), when all of the sudden I developed a small case of the hiccups. I suppose I might have been sipping my cocktail a little too fast, perhaps it was from the excitement of drinking on a Thursday! Whatever the case, it of course sparked a bevy of opinions on hiccup cures. I don’t know why, but I’m endlessly fascinated with this topic. Numerous times I have discussed creating a small bathroom book or gift book with hiccup cures (You know, the kind that mothers keep in a basket on the back of the toilet or on the coffee table in the living room. Well, at least my mother does.) I think it would be fascinating to do a mini research project and try to find all the cures for hiccups possible. What if they are different around the world? And how do you say hiccup in ten different languages?

Last night, Adam came up with “Take a pint glass, close your eyes, plug your ears and try to drink it as fast as possible with a straw.” Or something along those lines. Amanda said her grandpa used to waive a $50 bill in front of her face and told her that if she hiccupped again, she’d get it. She said she never ever hiccupped to win the $50. Yet another cure I have never heard. My favorite to this day is when I had the hiccups and someone asked me, “When was the last time you’ve seen a cow?” I thought and thought about it. When was the last time I’d seen a cow? I don’t think I could even answer that now. By the time I’d finished thinking about it, my hiccups were gone. Genius. I was clueless that it was a cure at the time, and I guess that’s how it works. It’s useless if you’ve already heard it.

I’m sure as you’re reading this, you’re thinking of the cure-all hiccup solution that you harbor. Everyone has one. What is yours?

Currently Feeling: Tired. I’m finally going to say it, “I’m too old to go out during the weekdays. I’m just not as young as I used to be.”
Currently Regretting: Last night and my lunch today. FUCK!
Currently Anticipating: Happy Hour at Ray’s Boathouse with Vanessa, Angela, Larisa and Sarah.

Dear Faithful Blog Readers,

I haven’t blogged since Monday…do you miss me, do you miss me? I appreciate your continuous support! Aside from doing nothing all week besides eating healthy and working out like a mad woman, I was in an all day seminar on Tuesday, my computer at work crashed Wednesday and most of Thursday, and I’ve been trying to play catch-up ever since. This has therefore provided me with little-to-no time to write my crazy thoughts or tell my stories. I promise I will be back on my regular blog schedule next week and hope to have all sorts of crazy stories for you after the all-day pub crawl I will be attending on Saturday. Until then, I hope all of you take the time this weekend to enjoy the sunshine (provided that it stays sunny this weekend) and get outside and get some exercise!

Luv,
Jeanna

Currently Feeling: Healthy and rejuvenated after my week of major body overhaul
Currently Anticipating: The pub-crawl tomorrow and receiving my Internet modem and new hot-pink sheets in the mail!
Currently Reading: The Mermaid Chair (by the author of The Secret Life of Bees)

MyCreepySpace.Com

I’ve spent the last couple hours doing the most morbid thing. I remember hearing about MyDeathSpace.com a few days ago—I can’t remember where or how—but I decided to check it out today. I totally got sucked in. It’s just a list of people who have died or murdered someone, whose MySpace pages are now listed on MyDeathSpace.com.

Some of it was pretty weird stuff. One guy was killed by lethal injection from the death sentence and a bunch of people on his page kept talking about how bull shit it was a what a good person he was—even though he stabbed a woman repeatedly and beat her with a hammer just so he could steal her credit cards and go buy clothes. Another entry was a boyfriend who killed his girlfriend. They both had MySpace pages and on the boyfriend’s people wrote comments such as:

FUCK YOU
FUCK YOU A MILLION TIMES
I HATE YOU….HOW COULD I EVER HAD TRUSTED YOU…IT SICKENS ME TO EVER THINK I LIKED YOU AS A FREIND AND THOUGHT YOU WERE COOL…I HOPE IF THEY EVER GET THE INTERNET IN PRISON YOU READ THIS…

DROP THE FUCKING SOAP BECAUSE I HOPE YOU GET RAPED IN THE ASSHOLE A MILLION TIMES YOU DIRTY LITTLE FUCKER….I HOPE YOU DIE IN JAIL….I HOPE SOMONE BEATS THE SHIT OUT OF YOU AND MAKES YOU BLEED TO DEATH….

SUFFER IN HELL… YOU GOOD FOR NOTHING BASTERD

Wow. This was definitely getting weird, but I couldn’t stop. I guess I got sucked into the mind-numbing interest of trolling people’s MySpace pages—most of you can relate—except this time most of the people were dead.

One girl was beautiful and normal looking, but died of a heroin overdose. Who does heroin? And another was a woman who died from Self-asphyxiation, which is sometimes used to give yourself a drug-induced high without the drugs, or even sexual pleasure. Super bizarre.

Most of the entries were suicides or automobile accidents, but I was fascinated. Even some of the people murdered in the Capitol Hill Shootings in Seattle were listed.

It got me thinking about the possibility of my MySpace page being the place where people memorialize someone if they die at a young age. This is a bizarre thought. I mean, would most of you be comfortable with your MySpace photo being used in newspapers or on other Web Sites such as MyDeathSpace.com as THE LAST photo taken of yourself? Would it be okay for everyone who was suddenly interested in you because you died a sensationalized death to read that you like to drink kamikazes and enjoy sex in public places? Or worse yet, your blogs? Some people put bizarre things on their MySpace pages. Maybe a little TMI. I’m sure I’ve been guilty of it. Hec, right now mine has the picture I posted below about not having a boyfriend and having a huge vibrator. Would I really want 300+ people seeing this about myself if I suddenly died, especially my parents? And who would suddenly get access to my password and get to read all my messages? I’ve got some pretty secretive stuff in there…

The whole thing is weird. It’s just interesting to me now in our day and age, how the internet logs almost everything we do and this then becomes fodder for any goon who wants access to it after you pass away. I mean hec, I let certain people read this blog site, however few they may be. But it’s almost like a private journal. Would I want everyone reading this if I suddenly died? It’s like my private thoughts would be open for everyone to analyze and read!?!? How’s that for a creepy thought for the day…

Currently Feeling: I’m having a fat day.
Currently Anticipating: Going to Mama’s with John.
Currently Listening: To my new FM radio tuner that I can attach to my iPod. I love it! Screw CDs.

Two short blogs today. I found this individual’s art on a Web site and a couple pertained to how I am feeling:

News that Tickles My Fancy

I’m going to blog twice today because I feel like my computer is frying my brain. Writing is such a relief…

I’ve found a couple things worth mentioning while perusing various news sites today.

#1. Eminem and his stupid bitch of a wife are getting their second divorce after only four months. I’m in love with him, and hate that she’s snagged him twice. According to his lyrics, she’s a real wench. (Ha) If I can’t have Eddie, I need Em.

Read the brief article here on People.com

#2. Myspace is continuing to grow at scary and alarming rates. MSN.com had an article today mentioning that 67 million people are now MySpace members and the site boasts the amount of hits comparable to Yahoo. Apparently, currently 250,000 people are joining MySpace a day. Is that not creepy? I think it really will take over the world…

Read the article here on MSN.com

#3. Apparently Seattle has a bathhouse/glory hole fuck-fest for gay men. I’ve never heard of it, but then again I’m not a gay man and the article specifically said that the place was forbidden to women. I suddenly want to go around and ask all my gay friends if they’ve been there. The journalist who wrote a feature about it for The Stranger, did an immensely impressive job, covering all tangents including researching the original owners of the building and the popularity of Crystal Meth and gay men. I read a staggering statistic that stated…

“If you’re a meth-using [HIV-negative] gay man who comes into the STD health clinic at Harborview, and then you show up again one year later, there is a 25 percent chance you will have become HIV-positive.”

The article was vivid, graphic and quite frankly made me cringe more than once. It went into scenes he had witnessed when walking through this building, which is nothing short of a large building housing pornographic orgies. He also describes watching two men fist themselves…fascinating stuff. Read part of the article I posted below:

…Membership is required. According to a figure published last summer in Seattle Gay News, they have about 4,000 members. Memberships last one year, for $17, or six months, for $10 (although for a while last spring Club Z was offering month-to-month memberships in anticipation of the building’s demolition). Paying for a membership gets you a membership card. Once you’ve shown your membership card and paid for either a locker ($9–$11) or a standard room ($15–$17) or a deluxe room ($28–$35)—prices vary depending on the night of the week—you are buzzed in through a heavy door and issued a towel, a key for your room or locker, and a condom.

The locker room is on the first floor, along with a shower and a sauna—both rarely used. On the second floor are dozens of small rooms, as well as a large room where several monitors play videos and men stroke themselves and smoke. On the third floor are still more rooms and a “maze” that consists of partitions set at angles from one another—many of them with holes at crotch level—in almost total darkness. In certain corners of the maze it’s possible to be standing next to someone who’s loudly getting fucked and not be able to see them. The rest of the building is staircases and hallways full of loiterers. Since doors are usually closed, you can’t see into any of the smaller rooms, except those that have glory holes.

Sometimes doors are left open. Occasionally you walk by a room and see someone on their stomach, bare ass facing you, waiting. Or you see someone sitting up in bed, masturbating, trying to be inviting. The idea of the club is that anything is possible, that pleasure and adventure reign, that a sexual energy prevails that’s not allowed expression outside the club’s walls…

For the full article on TheStranger.com click here. (It’s a long and very detailed feature that takes a while.)

#4. Finally, Nigel Barker is the hottest man alive. I drool over him every week during America’s Next Top Model. I finally looked up pictures of him on the internet, and found this a couple delicious results.

That’s all for now folks.

Yet Another Disappointment From "The Bachelor"

Thanks to People.com, I’ve learned that Travis and Sarah have broken up. All right, seriously people, I’m never watching The Bachelor again. I’ve watched the last couple seasons (post the ridiculous Trista and Ryan love-affair) and it is increasingly disappointing. Nobody ever stays together and the whole point of the show is lost. I was sucked into this season for the mere fact that Travis Stork is the best-looking man I have ever seen, on top of being successful, smart, down-to-earth, well-spoken etc. But upon hearing that Travis and Sarah have called it quits just a measly two weeks after the show’s end, I think it’s getting a little ridiculous. ABC should really look into taking the show off the air, or revamping it so the results are a little more in line with what they claim the show to be. The only good thing I can conclude from this debacle is that Travis is now single and ready to mingle with me. Exit Brit. Enter Doctor.

Read the article on People.com for Travis and Sarah’s lame break-up excuses.

Currently Feeling: Sleep-deprived and full from lunch
Current Anticipation: Starting my new position this week
Current Disappointment: Not getting any last night

Fairy Tales Really Do Come True

So today begins the week countdown to the two-hour premiere of America’s Next Top Model: Cycle 6. I seriously live for this show. Sad, but true. Of course, the two-hour premiere lands on the same night and overlaps with the two-hour season finale of Project Runway—two top competing fashion shows by rival models. Coincidence, I don’t think so. Unfortunately, I think I’m going to have to tape the season finale of Project Runway because while I have recently become a huge fan, I’m an America’s Next Top Model girl at heart. Here are my observations thus far of the models this season:

After reading all their bios and looking through their before-show photos, I’m banking on either Leslie or Molli Sue. Both strikingly beautiful and unique looking. I’m guessing Molli Sue is going to be a little sassy. She’s got the punk-rock, I-don’t-take-shit look to her, which I love. I’m also digging the red hair and blue eyes. I’m also sort of into Brooke’s look, however, I can see the judges telling her that her nose is a problem and she really needs to learn how to model to “compliment” her good and bad features. Sort of when they made the girls do the photo shoot that showed off, then hid their bad features. ie: Kim’s love-handles and flabby butt. Tee Hee. That comment from Lisa was classic. Speaking of noses, we’ve got some doozies on here. Wendy’s is pretty pronounced as well. Nnenna also strikes me as someone who might make it into the final four, however, she resembles Keenyah from Cycle 4 a little too much to get my vote. Who gets your vote?

According to Sarah, a rumor is circulating that all the girls are going to have to shave their head. This is freaking fantastic. Talk about a rating-jump idea for the sixth season. I’m hoping to see a lot of girls crying and throwing tantrums like Cassandra from last season. This makes great television. Plus, I think it’s a great idea because it dumbs down the competition to who really has a more beautiful face and striking features rather than who looks better with brown/blonde/red hair. All in all, I’m anticipating yet another great season, I hope nobody expects me to answer my phone between the 8 to 9 o’clock hour every Wednesday for the next couple months. Seriously, I can’t wait.

Click here for America’s Next Top Model: Cycle 6 web site

Current Feeling: Enamored by him
Current Read: The World According to Garp
Current Anticipation: The new Pearl Jam cd and Sasquatch Festival