Spotted on my walk home

Call us a “green city” or something – we’re saving energy by turning off
our fridges and keeping the milk outside. Genius!
–
Sent from my T-Mobile Sidekick®

Mayday! Mayday!

My freakin’ blog header is missing – I think the site I hosted it on more than a year ago must be obsolete now or something. Anywho, it’s driving me nuts, but I have to dig through my old work files to try to find it and upload it again.

Bear with me… (I just wrote bare with me, looked it up, and realized I don’t want to ask the Internet and all it’s randomness to get undressed with me. Thank god, once again, for being a journalism nerd.)

I’m gonna get rich quick, or die glue gunning

For the last two weekends, I’ve gone on FAILED Ugly Christmas Sweater Missions. (I’m into a lot of missions these days. Watch out.) What is it with these things?! It’s all people are talking about – “Do you have an ugly sweater yet for ____’s party?” “Dude, you HAVE TO see this sweater I bought for ___’s party.” Frankly, I’m quite over Ugly Christmas Sweater parties. They were a brilliant idea for whoever started them five or so years ago. But now the idea’s a little stale, and even worse–there’s a serious shortage of ugly Christmas sweaters out there. And did I mention that they’re ugly? There’s nothing flattering about them at all. Call me prissy, but it’s hard for me to get excited about putting on something that smells like my Grandma’s lingerie drawer, and was worn by someone from the Midwest with two chins, a kitchen decorated with ducks and a knackering for scrapbooking. Neva gonna be pretty. Know what I mean?

So, I was talking on the phone last night to Bestie Amanda about what else – ugly Christmas sweaters for a party we have coming up in two weeks, and we were commiserating on how much they suck and how INSANE the ugly Christmas sweater market has become. They’re not available anymore for $5 at The Goodwill. Oh no. I’ve scowered thrift stores the last couple weekends, only to find one lame male Christmas sweater – handmade Norwegian wool with reindeer – for my poor BF who’s probably going to break out in hives from the material. Amanda claims they’re selling for $30 at good ole’ J.C. Penney’s (marked down from $50) and some people are trying to make a killing off eBay, listing them at $50 each. Seriously?!

So, I mentioned something to her about how I’m going to start making my own ugly Christmas sweaters – buy a couple solid colored $2 sweaters from a thrift store, iron on some Christmas patches, add some yarn, sequins and bells – and voila! And she said she’s going to hit up J.C. Penney’s after-Christmas sale and scoop up all their good when they’re super clearanced, which led us to deciding that we’re going into the ugly Christmas sweater business together. We’re gonna call it Sweataz.com with a Z.

*Tony Danza accent* Hey, come get your Sweataz here, kids. We got da best in da city.

Anyway, it’s pretty much genius. Now I don’t have to focus on that 10-year plan anymore. Whew.

Currently Feeling: Super weirded out by my graphic, random dream last night.
Currently Anticipating: Bingo at Jabu’s tomorrow to welcome Adam to the neighborhood?
Currently Loving: The banana chocolate chip bread someone in my office brought in this morning.

Food for Thought

“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did do. So throw off the bowlines, sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER.”

Bush OUT, Obama IN

A text message from a friend last night:

Time to shave your pubes, Bush is out!

Amen, my friend, Amen!

Currently Feeling: A need to wrap my head around the rest of my 2008 goals at work.
Currently Anticipating: Finding my lost car key.
Currently Reading: “The Guernsey Literary and Potato Peel Pie Society” by Mary Ann Shaffer and Annie Barrows.

This is really amazing

The Stranger’s Slog is posting letters they’ve received from Americans all over the world, about what it’s like to vote absentee and the World’s opinion from locations in Israel, Africa, England, India and more. They’re also posting letters from people voting for the first times in their lives–they are that passionate about change for America. It’s given me goosebumps.

Click and scroll here to read more.

America’s silver bullet

Last night I had such a nervous belly–I felt like today was a combination between Christmas and the day I was to give a speech in front of class.

Tonight I’m heading to Buckley’s on Lower Queen Anne to celebrate *hopefully* or cry in my beer with fellow Canadian-bound friends *God please no*.

I hope everyone had a chance to vote, or is heading to vote still at some time today. If you did, you can pick up a free coffee at Starbucks (meh), a free ice cream cone at Ben & Jerry’s (sweet) or a FREE SILVER BULLET FROM TOYS IN BABELAND (awesome).

I can tell you the obvious choice there–kinda like Obama vs. McCain.

Obama is so the silver bullet.

P.S. Feeling nervous as I am about the election? A friend pointed me in the direction of this, which makes me feel a little bit better, even if it is a “projection.”

Currently Feeling: Sick of talking about work styles at personality styles in two-hour meetings.
Currently Anticipating: Meeting up with friends tonight for an Election Party.
Currently Hating: How dark it is now! I forget each year how terrible it is.

Kickin’ off a little NaBloPoMo

For shits and giggles, I think I’m going to try out NaBloPoMo this November–a little challenge to post every day, including weekends, for one month. NaBloPoMo stands for National Blog Posting Month, which is officially November of each year. I can’t promise that I’ll actually have something interesting or worth reading every day, but I’m still going to try anyway.

To kick-off NaBloPoMo, I thought I’d share a little picture that my roommate took of Stella, which is the most perfect photo that’s ever been captured of her, so I’m quite excited about it.

Desk worthy for sure. Some people have kids; I have a cat.

Dear Red States

I seem to be going back and forth between Halloween posts and Election Day posts – two things I’m very passionate about. My apologies if you don’t feel that passionate about it, you should probably stop reading now…I was sent a grand little e-mail this morning, that I just have to share since we’re moments away from a HUGELY exciting and nervewracking election (which I’ll be spending at the bar) FYI – THIS IS A JOKE :

Dear Red States,

If you manage to steal this election too, we’ve decided we’re leaving. We intend to form our own country, and we’re taking the other Blue States with us. In case you aren’t aware, that includes California, Hawaii, Oregon, Washington, Minnesota, Wisconsin, Michigan, Illinois and all the Northeast. We believe this split will be beneficial to the nation, and especially to the people of the new country of New California.

To sum up briefly: You get Texas, Oklahoma and all the slave states.

We get stem cell research and the best beaches. We get the Statue of Liberty. You get Dollywood.

We get Intel and Microsoft. You get WorldCom.

We get Harvard. You get Ole’ Miss.

We get 85% of America’s venture capital and entrepreneurs. You get Alabama.

We get two-thirds of the tax revenue, you get to make the Red States pay their fair share.

Since our aggregate divorce rate is 22% lower than the Christian Coalition’s, we get a bunch of happy families. You get a bunch of single moms.

Please be aware that Nuevo California will be pro-choice and anti-war, and we’re going to want all our citizens back from Iraq at once. If you need people to fight, ask your evangelicals. They have kids they’re apparently willing to send to their deaths for no purpose, and they don’t care if you don’t show pictures of their children’s caskets coming home. We do wish you success in Iraq , and hope that the WMDs turn up, but we’re not willing to spend our resources in Bush’s Quagmire.

With the Blue States in hand, we will have firm control of 80% of the country’s fresh water, more than 90% of the pineapple and lettuce,92% of the nation’s fresh fruit, 95% of America’s quality wines, 90% of all cheese, 90% of the high tech industry, 95% of the corn and soybeans (thanks Iowa!), most of the U.S. low-sulfur coal, all living redwoods, sequoias and condors, all the Ivy and Seven Sister schools plus Stanford, Cal Tech and MIT.

With the Red States, on the other hand, you will have to cope with 88% of all obese Americans (and their projected health care costs), 92% of all U.S. mosquitoes, nearly 100% of the tornadoes, 90% of the hurricanes, 99% of all Southern Baptists, virtually 100% of all televangelists, Rush Limbaugh, Bob Jones University, Clemson and the University of Georgia.

We get Hollywood and Yosemite, thank you.

Additionally, 38% of those in the Red States believe Jonah was actually swallowed by a whale, 62% believe life is sacred unless we’re discussing the war, the death penalty or gun laws, 44% say that evolution is only a theory, 53% that Saddam was involved in 9/11 and 61% of you crazy bastards believe you are people with higher morals then we lefties.

Finally, we’re taking the good pot, too. You can have that dirt weed they grow in Mexico

Peace out,
Blue States

GOBAMA 08!

A Retirement Plan for 2008

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.

With Enron, you would have $16.50 left of the original $1000.

With WorldCom, you would have less than $5.00 left.

If you had purchased $1000.00 of Delta Airlines stock you would have $49.00 left.

If you had purchased United Airlines, you would have nothing left.

But, if you had purchased $1000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for recycling (in a state that gives you money for recycling – damn you Washington), you would have $214.00.

Based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

This is called the 401-Keg Plan.

DRINKING BEER IS THE BEST INVESTMENT FOR YOUR FUTURE.

Currently Feeling: Phlegmy with a sore throat…it’s so my time since I haven’t been sick since probably last February.
Currently Anticipating: The Kube 93.3 haunted house tonight with John and Sue – it wasn’t open last night.
Currently Hating: That the flats I bought are more uncomfortable than my heels.