Someone Grab a Scalpel, this Bitch Gone Crazy!

I’ve made a mistake. Quite possibly a huge one.

I’ve started watching Grey’s Anatomy. I rented the first season, and while it was somewhat entertaining, I wasn’t hooked. Then I rented the second season, and I can hardly think of doing anything else besides going home and watching the next episode. I’ve turned down multiple social engagements to be by myself, curled up in my bed, watching hour after hour of Grey’s. Should I start worrying?

One week, and I’m already a junky. After bowling till midnight last night with The Lucky Strikes, I came home with the last two DVDs of the second season in my hand. “I have to make these last,” I thought to myself. Cause once I had watched them, it was back to regular old television and waiting each week to see the outcome.

So what did I do? I stayed up until 3:45 in the morning last night watching the entire fourth disk. I couldn’t effing stop. I mean the bomb…in the cadaver…Bailey’s husband in brain surgery…Izzie and Alex in the coat closet. Those of you who watch the show know what I’m talking about. There’s a reason these shows win freaking Golden Globes.

Furthermore, I’m starting to live a disillusioned Sexy-in-the-Cityish reality where the characters seem real to me. And I start talking about what’s going on in their life. And what this person did and said today, and the other. I’ll never forget when I was sitting in the waiting room at The Old Spaghetti Factory months ago with Sarah (an obvious SATC fan) and Haley (who’s never seen one episode—a crime really) and Sarah turned to me and said, “Smith Jared shaved his head today for Samantha.” And Haley was like, “Why are you talking about these people like they’re real?”

Why do we talk about fictitious television characters and get so into shows that they start to seem real? I’m not the first girl who likes to think her life is weirdly similar to Sex and the City. Or at least try to live like it. It’s quite pathetic really. That’s right, Paolo, and all the other haters out there. I admitted it.

Perhaps it’s because some TV shows are so farfetched and unrealistic that the sheer preposterousness of it sucks us in. Sort of like Desperate Housewives. Or maybe it’s because it’s a reality that is more exciting than our everyday lives, such as 24 or Lost. Or maybe it’s because the characters are realistic, and portray the relationships that we want, have, hope to have. Like Sex and the City and Grey’s Anatomy. I know that I sometimes wouldn’t mind being able to disassociate myself from feelings like Cristina, I wouldn’t mind being as freakin smart and successful as Meredith or having the camaraderie the interns have at work. And you all know, I certainly wouldn’t mind having my own McDreamy. Or even McSteamy. And until it happens for me, I’m going to continue to obsess over these TV shows and spend my young, 20-something years curled up watching them until 3:45 in the morning instead of hanging out with my friends or actively seeking a love life.

Some one check me into the OR.

Currently Feeling: An incredible overwhelming love for my devil cat. I think it’s unconditional. And I think I’m totally attached. Hell, we made it past the two-month phase…it must be forever.
Currently Anticipating: Bingo tonight and Brett’s birthday party on Saturday.
Currently Loving: That Chuck the Fuck is getting what he deserves.
Currently Obsessed With: No Sugar Added Fudgesicles with Peanut Butter.

Un-Bloody-Believable

Last weekend I went to see Blood Diamond.

I’m going to spoil the ending of this blog before you even read it: I’m never putting a diamond on my body, and you can quote me on that. If some sad sack buys me diamond earrings or even worse, a diamond ring, I’m going to take a trip down to the local pawn shop and hock the damn thing.

I’ve always talked to my friends about how I’m just not a diamond girl. I’d much rather have a pink or yellow sapphire ring, and I’ve never understood the big obsession with the supposed Women’s Best Friend. “Diamonds are forever,” my ass. Don’t you know that the supply is controlled, so people think they are “rare,” therefore the demand rises? This movie solidifies all contempt I’ve had for diamonds and girls’ obsession with them. Especially those women who have a wonderful guy who wants to marry them, but they won’t take the plunge until they have a 2.4-carat, princess cut platinum diamond ring on their finger from Tiffany’s. Give me a fucking break. There’s more to life than having a 20K ring on your finger. How about taking that money to travel the world, or putting a down payment on a sweet condo in Seattle or a house in the suburbs (whichever you prefer)? All the girls who boast the ridiculous “huge ring” requirement need to go see Blood Diamond.

Set in early 1990s Sierra Leone during the country’s civil war, the film captures the massacres, chaos and generally inhuman acts of those living in Africa, who are obsessed with the sale and profit from diamonds. The depiction of child soldiers who are kidnapped at young ages such as 7, manipulated with drugs, and made to kill using machine guns, is heart wrenching. It’s amazes me that there are situations like this happening all over the world, (Gulu and the Lord’s Resistance Army or Darfur, Sudan), and most people in America have no idea. Instead, our daily news covers the snow on the streets and a recent cold virus. It’s pathetic.

An estimated 65 percent of the world’s diamonds come from African countries—Angola, Liberia, Ivory Coast, Republic of Congo, etc. And while the Kimberly Process was created in 2002, which supposedly halts trade in conflict diamonds and allows a process where buyers of diamonds can be assured that their diamonds have not contributed to violence. Still, this happened less than a decade ago, and it is not 100 percent guaranteed that the diamonds sold in the U.S. are not from war-zoned areas, that a women wasn’t raped and beaten in the process, her children kidnapped and made to murder others, or the father’s hands were not chopped off. Not providing me with a 100-percent guarantee, ensures that I will 100 percent never purchase a diamond. I couldn’t live with myself if I knew I was walking around with a superficial status symbol on my finger, which could have contributed to the death of an innocent person. How is anything worth that?

Now, in my search of facts and figures for this blog, I came across Diamondfacts.org, which straight-up argues that diamonds actually benefit Africans and are a large reason that they can feed their children and go to school. I don’t buy it. Since the Web site is ran by the World Diamond Council, an organization created by the big wigs of the diamond trading industry, it smells like fish-coated propaganda.

Anyway, read up on the subject, see the movie and form your own opinions. But, if you’re a man who happens to fall in love with me, please buy me a fake ring out of a 25-cent machine. I’ll love you for it.

Fat’s Comin Back!

This is the best news I’ve heard in a long time.

Let’s tip our glasses to loving our curves as leading figures in the fashion world go to war against underweight fashion models! It’s about freakin time.

A day after Nicole Ritchie’s was arrested and her booking sheet listed her weight as 85 pounds—GUROSS!—Diane Von Furstenberg sent a letter to Council of Fashion Designers of America, urging them to take a stand against underweight models. I think it’s a beautiful coincidence.

Fashion capitols all over the world have already taken a stand:

In September, the organizers of fashion week in Madrid, Spain, issued the world’s first catwalk ban on models who didn’t meet a minimum body mass ratio of 18, a number calculated on height and weight, which would exclude Kate Moss. (Sorry Johnny.)

In November, a 21-year-old Brazilian model, Ana Carolina Reston, died in a Sao Paulo hospital from complications of anorexia. She was 5-feet-8 and weighed 88 pounds. Brazil has joined the campaign to create guidelines.

Diane’s letter included her quoting:

“…As designers, we cannot ignore the impact fashion has on body image. We share a responsibility to protect women, and very young girls in particular, within the industry, sending the message that health is beauty.”
“I always think it’s a good idea to promote health,” she said. “I believe in strong women.”

Thank you Diane. Perhaps you should be the next President. I believe in healthy, beautiful bodies too.

Ladies, finish that last piece of holiday cake and certainly opt for the full-fat egg nog instead of light…FAT’S COMIN BACK!

Currently Anticipating: My 25th silver birthday bash. If you didn’t get the evite, then you probably shouldn’t be reading this blog anyway.
Currently Feeling: Releaved that the ban was lifted from Blogger at my work. I don’t know how, I don’t know why, but I can blog again!!
Currently Reading: The Power of One (I just finished The Thirteenth Tale, read it, it was fabulous!)
Currently Hating: Figuring out what the hell I’m going to do for New Year’s this year. I HATE IT!

May Day, May Day!

Quick update.
My effing work blocked Beta Blogger, so I am currently unable to blog. I know, I shouldn’t blog while at work anyway, however, we’re all guilty of Internet activity that we shouldn’t be partaking in while at work. I’m working on a fix, but since I don’t have the Internet at home either, my blogs might be few and far between for awhile until I come up with a solution.
Please don’t give up on me, I’ll hopefully be back soon.
Luv,
Jeanna

Ta Da!

So, I figured it was time to change the look of my blog site to something a little more “sophisticated.” It’s taken me hours and hours to do. The first go ‘round, I deleted all the changes after spending hours trying to sort through the html code. Have any of you tried reading through code and figuring out what it all means? It’s something I’ve taught myself to do since the creation of MySpace and Blogger, and something I enjoy quite a bit. I’m even contemplating going to grad school for Web site design…

Anyway, here it is. Ladies and gentlemen, I now have links on my site! Hope you enjoy and it isn’t too hard to read or navigate. I appreciate any comments or suggestions.

Love all of you! And I promise to be back to my fabulous story telling soon. It’s been a rough last couple of weeks, but I’ve got a few tricks up my sleeve for the next couple days…

Luv,
Je

Add it to the List of Jeanna’s Nerdiness

I’m about to do something sacrilegious to my beliefs—I’m going to start listening to audio books on tape.

Books on tape are something Larisa has been raving about for a while now. Being the book snob that I am, I kinda laughed at listening to books rather than actually reading them. However, I’m going to jump on the bandwagon like I’ve done with most other things in my life that I previously thought were weird (read: drugs, fad dieting, religious corporations, roll playing).

I checked out buying some books on tape off of iTunes yesterday, and GOOD GOD, they’re more freakin expensive then buying the damn hardcopy version of the book. How is this possible? Some of the popular classics, such as Middlesex, are 30 bucks a pop. Speaking of sacrilegious…

However, Tre was nice enough to email me a link this morning that he has been using—LearnOutLoud.com—a Web site that offers a lot of educational, free audio books. While a lot of them are boring, (read: Biography of Benjamin Franklin, Airline Safety and the Electoral College, and the 250th Anniversary of Mozart’s Birth), I still managed to find some promising titles that I’ve actually downloaded and plan on listening to:

Ten Days in a Madhouse: In 1887, Nellie Bly, one of the first female newspaper reports (yeah journalism), feigned insanity to study the inner workings of insane asylums. What she found—mistreatment of patients—resulted in asylums receiving more money for patient treatment and alterating their practices.

Prison Diaries: An unprecedented, first-person look at life inside penitentiary walls through the intense radio series, Prison Diaries. Five inmates, four correctional officers and a judge were given tape recorders. They kept audio journals and recorded the sounds and scenes of everyday life behind bars: shakedowns, roll call, family visits, and quiet moments late at night inside a cell.

*BING* You may now turn the page.

Currently Feeling: A little stressed about getting my Halloween costume before Friday.
Currently Anticipating: Halloween, Halloween, Halloween. It’s all I can think about. I LOVE it!
Currently Loving: My sexy tall black pirate boots that lace up the sides with red satin ribbon. So hot.

"O’zapft is!"

Translated above: “It’s tapped!” in German—the traditional phrase spoken by the mayor of Munich each year while tapping the first keg at the opening of Oktoberfest. I feel it is quite fitting since today is the opening day of my Oktoberfest weekend. For the first time in more than a month, I will enjoy the sweet, sweet taste of beer on my tongue while sampling the 70 beers on tap in the Bierzelts (beer tents). Let’s cross our fingers that I don’t turn into a Bierleichen (German for beercorpse) while enjoying the festivities as this year’s Fremont Oktoberfest—one of the more well-known international celebrations of the annual German-born festival. (USA Today considers the Fremont Oktoberfest one of the top 10 celebrations of the fall festival across the world.)

Oktoberfest is known as the Largest People’s Fair in the World. Year after year, approximately 6 million people visit the 104-acre Theresienwiese in Munich, Germany, the official site of Oktoberfest. Of the people who attend, 72 percent are from Bavaria and 15 percent are from other locations across the globe.

Historically, in old Germany, the brewing season began with the fall harvest of barley and hops, and any beer left at harvest time had to be consumed before the new beer arrived. September was designated as the time to drink-up all of last season’s beer. The first Oktoberfest took place on October 12, 1810 for the commemoration of the marriage between Crown Prince Ludwig and Princess Therese of Saxe-Hildurghausen. The newlyweds invited townmembers to celebrate their marriage and closed the celebration with a horse race. It was celebrated as a festival for the whole of Bavaria. The decision to repeat the horse races in the subsequent year and commemorate the King and Queen’s marriage gave rise to the tradition of Oktoberfest. The dates were moved up to take advantage of good weather, however, the last week of Oktoberfest still takes place during the first week of October. Fun Oktoberfest facts include:

• The sale of beer at the festival was not approved until 1880.
• In 1881, booths began selling bratwurst.
• Beer was first served in glass mugs in 1892.
• In 1910, Oktoberfest celebrated its 100th birthday—120,000 liters of beer were poured
• Now, the largest tent at the celebration in Munich is the Hofbräu-Festhalle, which holds 10,000 people.
• Since its beginning, Oktoberfest has been canceled 24 times due to war, disease and other emergencies.
• Thirty percent of the year’s production of beer by Munich breweries will be consumed in the two weeks of Oktoberfest.
• 12,000 people are employed at Oktoberfest. Of these, 1,600 are waitresses.
• The festival has available seating for 100,000 people.
• The six Oktoberfest breweries, (Spaten, Augustiner, Paulaner, Hacker-Pschorr, Hofbräuhaus, Löwenbräu) sold 6 million mugs of beer in 2005 (5.5 million in 2004).
• Approximately 4,000 items have been lost at the festival, among them, 260 pairs of glasses, 200 mobile phones, a wedding ring and two crutches.

Didn’t I pick you up in the grocery store? ‘Cause you’re hot like salsa!

This morning I was browsing through Seattletimes.com in my usual morning coffee/Internet surfing ritual. In the Living section, I came across this link: Tips on picking up a fresh item at supermarket Singles Night , and immediately my interest was peeked. A Singles Night at the grocery store? Sounds interesting, fun and a possible way to snag a hottie. I know the grocery stores I frequent in Queen Anne are constantly swarming with good-looking men—especially Trader Joes—but, while they say the grocery store is a good place to pick someone up, how does one go about doing this?

I’ve certainly caught eyes before with a dark-headed type in the produce department, or lingered a little bit longer in the soup isle. But, when does one step over the line from just eyeing someone at the grocery store, to actually making a move? How do you know that they aren’t shopping for a romantic dinner with their gorgeous and fabulous girlfriend?

I clicked on the link in the hopes of discovering the Seattle-based grocery store that could be so genius—immediately ready to add the date to my calendar. I was overwhelmingly disappointed though to discover that a journalist for the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel, in Milwaukee, wrote it. Boo. Why can’t a grocery store in Seattle, better yet, Queen Anne, hold a Singles Night? I mean the idea is freaking brilliant. The night goes a little like this:

Singles just show up. It’s free. Each person gets a number to wear and a nametag. A disc jockey will play tunes while you wander around and pretend to shop as usual while sampling chocolate-covered cherries, pastries, shrimp mini-kabobs, baked Brie and sparkling wine.

If they see someone they like, they can add the opportunity to connect to their carts by telling the video date wrangler to post a message on a large video screen near the windows of the liquor store. Here you’ll also receive messages from those who have a hunger to meet you.

Sounds fun, huh? Now who wouldn’t want to meet someone hot at the grocery store? Makes for a better story than an Internet site, in my opinion. The article suggested a few pick-up lines to use:

“Nice wheels.”
“Any idea what kind of wine goes with ahi?”
“What is ahi?”
“How can you tell if these are ripe?”

And certain ones to avoid:

Where’s the pickled herring?”
“How many boxes of extra large, instant macaroni and cheese do you have in stock? Mom and I eat that every night.”
“Which way to the pharmacy aisles? I need something for this rash.”
“Oh, darn, that’s the last bottle of Beano. I need at least two.”

But, I prefer something a little saucier that goes right to the point, so I’ve compiled these:

“Do you eat lots of Lucky Charms? Because you look magically delicious.”

“Pssst! My piggly is wiggly.”

Happy Shopping!

Go Gay!

OMG. This reporter is a literary genius. I practically choked on my celery and hummus snack while reading this article; it’s sooo funny! I wish I could be this clever.

The Stranger: Shopping Spree
How to Get Free Books, CDs, and Movies from Focus on the Family—Thereby Taking Money out of the Pockets of Anti-Gay Bigots—in 12 Easy Steps

Blogging, Blog, Blog, Blogger, Blog

I’ve been informed from a friend that I’m breaking some rules in my blog. First and foremost, I’m going to keep today’s blog very, very short. I know I’ve passed the limits of comfortable blog length many times. I’m just a longwinded person. My sincerest apologies. I’ll try to make things more “concise.” If you have a problem with this, please email mottolp2@cc.wwu.edu, he’s in charge of the complaint department. Furthermore, I’ve discovered that I’ve been breaking some rules of blogging. Very embarrassing. In fact, I’m breaking rule numero uno right now since this whole blog is about blogging. And apparently you’re never supposed to talk about blogging in your blog. Since this is rather embarrassing to me, and I really don’t know how I’m going to show my face in public again, I’ve looked up some of the rules of blogging on the Internet so I can become better informed.

After reading through a number of different sites, I found advice to keep it short, someone said to never talk about yourself, which I find weird, not to link too much but don’t forget to link, to respect your readers’ privacy… etc. In fact, there were so many damn rules to blogging that I now feel a little overwhelmed. I only started doing this for my own satisfaction in the first place, why do I now feel the need to please everyone? And how is anyone doing anything right when blogging? I did come across one rule that I think qualifies as my Golden:

Rules don’t really apply in blogging. There’s an exception to everything and everything else is accepted. Find your own groove and swing with it. If your style and message appeal to a lot of people then eventually you’ll have a lot of readers. If they appeal to a smaller number of people then you’re going to have fewer readers. But if you change your style and message simply to attract more readers then you’re going to get sick of it after a while and you’re going to quit blogging altogether.

Everything except the “lot of readers” part…that’s not really a concern of mine. Anyway…happy blogging and unhappy reading!