How does the word flaky make you feel

Do you think to yourself, “Eww…I’m kinda flaky” or “Gawd I hate flaky people”?

Because I think there are two types of people in this world – flaky and non-flaky. However, I’m unsure how this comes about, and I wonder if flaky people, deep down, know they’re flaky. Or does everyone say they hate flaky people, but we’re all, in our own little ways, flaky at one point or the other? Conversely, what makes someone flaky – a selfishness and lack of others’ time, overall listlessness, or a general uncaring attitude? Perhaps it’s larger, more private issues – like social anxiety or depression – maladies that cause people to want to stay in, alone, instead of being where they said they’d be. Or perhaps we’re all just overbooked, overworked, overcommitted, oversocialized…

I thought about this today during a conversation I had with someone about how hard it is to throw events these days because everyone RSVPs “Yes”, but shows up to less than 50 percent of what they RSVP to.

The conversation made me awfully grumbly – if there’s one thing I abhor in life, it’s flaky people. I work very hard to only commit to events I can actually make it to, and will run myself into the ground to show up to where I promised I’d be, even if it’s the last thing I want to do. (Which, on the flip side, probably isn’t that healthy).

But, my word is strong – if I tell you I’ll be there, unless something like throwing up, car troubles, lost keys or other life altering events happen that prevent my presence, I’ll be there.

I realized, it is very important in this life of mine to be reliable.

Because I put such weight on being reliable, it’s really hard for me to be patient with any and all of the following:

• Someone who is afraid to call and tell you they don’t want to go anymore, so they don’t answer texts and emails and kinda fall off the face of the Earth until magically, after wherever they were supposed to be is over, they “Find their phone.”
• Someone who commits to something that requires a head count, and splitting of costs, then bails out at the last minute – stiffing everyone else with their portion of the bill that they committed to.
• Someone who reschedules and cancels and reschedules and cancels, and cancels and cancels and then shows up late.
• Someone who replies “maybe” to every invite – never committing to anything (now, is that flaky or noncommittal?)
• Someone who commits to plans, which require them to be there for the other person to go, and because they back out, the other person is stuck not doing something they wanted to do.
• Someone who bails on anything that required tickets or reservations.
• Etc, etc, etc.

What are your thoughts on the what it means to be flaky? Do you put an emphasis on it?
Do you think I put too much emphasis on it? I’d love to hear your thoughts…

Closet blanket with sleeves wearer without the sleeves

Me: i don’t like the sleeve concept
they make me feel restricted
i use the snuggie without the sleeves. lol
then it’s just a big dumb blanket made out of cheap fleece

Friend: i just had a great idea. i’m going to put my fleece jacket on backwards and market it as a waist high only snuggie. those cost more cause they’re specialized. i’ll make a fortune.

Friend:
then i’ll take a t-shirt, but it open on the front and put it on backwards. I’ll market that as a waist high, short sleeved, summer snuggie made of lighter fabric.

Too bad he didn’t protect his chats! I’m totally stealing his idea, and I’m going to make a FORTUNE from it! Summer Snuggies made from T-Shirts! Waist-high-only Snuggies!!

What I wish I knew then, I guess I know now

Writing Prompt: If you could write a letter to your younger self, giving advice for troubles that will happen in the future, what would it look like? What would you say? Would the letter be funny, or would it be serious? (from Apricot Tea., check out her new project – Ask Apricot)

Dear Younger Self,

It’s me, Older Je. I’m here from the future, briefly, to tell you a few things you should grasp tight in your memory and not let go of. Tidbits of advice, if you will, to help tackle some stuff that you’ll find hard, a perspective on the things to come and a few words to still your mind. If I could be there with you then, this is what I’d tell you:

First and foremost – stop feeling bad in your skin. It’s you. The only body you’ll ever have; and it could be a lot worse. Let me tell you, every time you’ve felt squishy or pudgy or unlike the pretty girls in the magazines, I’ve looked back on pictures of you, and you looked like a million bucks. I only wish I could have that figure right now. I work every day to get it back. So dammit, put on a f*cking bathing suit in public and prance around. Kick your toes in sand. Bend over and pick up your beach towel without putting a T-shirt on. Look in a mirror and appreciate what your momma gave you.

Speaking of momma – try to let up a little. You’ll look back of some of the stuff you said and did to hurt her feelings, and it’ll sting. She’s great, and all she’s ever wanted in life is to be a fabulous mother, and your best friend. And while she might be a little hard on you (yes, I still agree Bs are not a bad thing and a midnight curfew blows), she molded you into what you’ll soon become – smart and independent. A lot of girls don’t get a supportive family. Appreciate that they love you so much they’re willing to push you, ask what you’re doing and punish you. It might feel like you’ll never agree, but trust me, she’s a great friend waiting in your future, and she’s worth it.

You know what’s not worth it though? Credit cards, a poor credit score and calling your parents to bail you out because you lost your job and can’t pay your bills, or living paycheck to paycheck and barely squeaking by. Or not being able to drive your car cause you spent your last $9 on Snickers ice cream and Oreos while drunk one night instead of gas to get to work. This one is easy – stop freakin’ spending. Stop it. Now. The eight sweater coats in every color and length that you couldn’t live without – they’ll be the ugliest thing you’ll see in a couple years, so you don’t need all of them. And that poncho. And those jelly sandals. And that suede Pocahontas-looking jacket. It’s all just material junk that you’ll look around at, unable to sell it for any sort of value, and wish you had all that money back to pay off your credit cards.

I know you’ve never been good at money – but you’ve always been good at friendships. Keep that up. Friends and your family – they are what matter – not the latest fashion, or 46 tubes of the shiniest lip gloss, or the car you can’t live without and the perfect vase for your living room. Just remember – there are a few of these people you’re going to lose too soon, and it’ll be hard to grasp or understand. So always return that phone call, and always visit when you feel you don’t have the time. Because you’re going to look back and wish you did.

And finally, I’m here from the future to tell you to stop worrying so much about me. Take it one day at a time. Here’s a tip – you’re not going to be married at 27. So chances are you’re not going to have your first kid at 30. And guess what; it’s all going to be okay. You’re not going to love your job, but you’re working toward smaller goals and you’re figuring it out. All the answer won’t be at your fingertips when you thought they would be, but you’re well on your way. You’ll discover that living in the moment is much more rewarding than always worrying about the future, so why not start that now? That job you felt like you’d never get – you’ll get it. So continue to sling coffee and live for free off your parents. You’ll never be that free of responsibility again. That relationship you thought would never come – life is full of love and being alone is some of the best times you’ll have to grow. So stop moping on the couch because you couldn’t find something to do for one night. Relax, take a breather and let it all just come, one day at a time…

Love,
Older Je

Girls don’t want to be friends with girls who don’t like Twilight

You know what I think is hilarious?

This Twilight obsession, and how it’s completely normal for late 20-something girls to be going gaga over a book that was written for 12 year olds. But it is unacceptable for a girl to not really be on this whole Twilight bandwagon.

I know my feed counts will probably drop after this, and I’ll lose tons of blog readers just because I stated that I’m not really on board with this whole gig. (Gasp.) Hell, I’ve already been ousted by people in real life because of this. Girls don’t want to be friends with girls who don’t like Twilight. It’s a proven social experiment that I did for you. You’re welcome.

I attended a party last weekend, and two girls wouldn’t even LOOK at me cause I had previously stated that I thought the whole obsession was ridiculous. They didn’t even acknowledge my presence. Not a thing. All I have to do is say I don’t think Twilight is all that great, and I’m losing friends quicker than the girl in high school who slept with the popular girl’s boyfriend.

Except the latter would be more fun, in my opinion.

I tried to explain this to my boyfriend.

“They don’t like me,” I said.

“Why not?!” he exclaimed. He nearly fell over with shock; I took the wind right out of him! “Bu-bu-but, but, EVERYONE likes you!”

(Okay, that didn’t really happen. But he still asked why.)

“Because I have a negative opinion about Twilight.”

“What the hell is Twilight”? he asked.

“Uh, just this vampire book that’s written for teenagers and all these girls are crazy about.”

…

…

…

That’s what he did for like five minutes. I wish I could have recorded the look on his face.

Trust me, BF. I think it’s just as crazy for girls to not like me just because I don’t LOVE Twilight. And yes readers, don’t worry, I “tried it before I decided I didn’t like it.” (Just like the damn peas, mother. I tried them, I don’t like ‘em.) I read Twilight in July of 2007, before the sequels were released. I guess that might have been my mistake. I remember it was a super quick read, and yes, I did want to know what happened next. But alas, time passed without a sequel, and it wasn’t long before I was over it. Now I’m stuck reading an Edward Cullen reference at least once a week on a blog, and I REALLY don’t think the book is worth a second read just to feel like I’m part of this trend.

No offense to all my lovely blog friends who have posted about Twilight, but really? I don’t get it. There’s so much talk about wishing our boyfriends were Edward, or dreaming about Edward. Is romance that dead? Can’t we find our own real-life boyfriend who is romantic, HOT and not a tweenie vampire? I feel like this is just yet another set up – we read beauty magazines, and think our bodies, our hair or our lips will never be skinny, silky and plump enough. We see romantic movies, and dream about the Valentine’s Day with red roses leading up to our room, or an insanely over-the-top marriage proposal. Then when neither happen, we feel, uh, a little unsatisfied? And now we read Twilight, and we can’t be happy in our relationship because our boyfriends aren’t Edward Cullen.

Listen, I like romance as much as the next girl. I just prefer to guilt my boyfriend into it via subtle suggestions that don’t make him feel inept because he’s not a vampire, just inept for being male. Please don’t oust me from your social circle because I prefer the latter.

Currently Feeling: Sick from eating my weight in salt water taffy. Damn you coworkers!
Currently Anticipating: Getting my hair balayaged tonight by Bestie Amanda.
Currently Needing: To lock myself in a room between now and Thursday so I won’t spend any of my savings for Mexico.

What can I say, I’m a bit of a girly girl

Lots and lots of fall-time events this past weekend.

I went to a pumpkin patch with the boyfriend, the new roomie and friends on Sunday.

My friend’s older sister expressed her concern to my friend before I showed up, “Does 20-Something know how to, you know, dress for the pumpkin patch? Will she know to wear tennis shoes?” Apparently because I’m almost always dressed up and in heels when my friend’s sister sees me, she thinks I’m one of those dumb girls who would wear heels to a pumpkin patch. Well, I never.

Friend and I had a good laugh about this.

The funny part is, I was without a car and stayed at the boyfriend’s house on the Eastside all weekend. I left my house Saturday morning, without any clothes, change of underwear, make-up and hair product—a dumb move I cursed all weekend. So, I actually did go to the pumpkin patch on Sunday—not by choice or plan—in wedge heels.

I guess I am one of those girls who shows up at a pumpkin patch in heels. How embarrassing.

After the pumpkin patch, I spent hours with my mom at the fabric store, selecting a pattern and fabric for my Halloween costume. (Aren’t you just dying to know what it is – don’t get too excited, it’s not that great. I fear that I out-did myself forever with my costume last year.) We waited in line with about 30 other mothers and their broods of loud, crying children. Half of them were talking to a mystery person on their Blue-Tooth-enabled headset. Perhaps the sixth child, waiting behind a Swinger sewing machine for bolts of fabric to be brought back home, their fingers bandaged and bleeding? Who knows. I overheard a comment from someone working at the store that more people seem to be making their Halloween costume this year. I could chalk it up to the economic crisis, since everything seems to be linked to that these days. But, that theory was blown right out of the water when I rang up the list of items I needed to make my costume–$30 worth of red fringe later (plus all the fabric, zippers, etc.), and I spent just as much as a store-bought costume. No wonder they don’t give those things away.

At least with my red-fringed mystery costume, I won’t be ridiculed for wearing heels in public.

Pickin’ my way through the pumpkin fields in heels

Currently Feeling: Really sick of pulling myself out of bed in the dark.
Currently Anticipating: Picking up the last costume needs tonight at Redlight on Broadway.
Currently Loving: How fantastic our fall weather has been thus far.