Happy Birthday to The Mini!

My boyfriend has a little boy, The Mini, who turned 6 today.

I don’t blog much about The Mini, or dating a boyfriend with a child, because it’s a pretty personal decision of mine that I find more people are quick to judge than to understand. But, I guess there eventually comes a time and place for everything…

When I first met my BF, the fact he was a father definitely scared the bejesus out of me. I ignored his text messages, told him I just wanted to be friends and wrote a very embarrassing, judgmental post for all the world to read (including his mom and mother of his child) on a dating blog I wrote back then for one of Seattle’s newspapers. Oh how I wish I could take that moment back.

But, I was 25 and a super single (four years to be exact), party animal, socialite extroidonaire. My evenings were my evenings. My mornings were my mornings. I didn’t have to answer to anyone or stay in or reject invitations. Marriage and babies were even further off my mind than they are now. It wasn’t the concept of a child that scared me because I actually happen to love children (if they’re cute and well-behaved. Ha!), but it was more the concept of having a child in my life all.the.time that scared me. I didn’t want to be a mother. Or a stepmother. Or tell my parents and friends that I was dating someone with a child… the whole situation was just not appealing. Better to run quickly away, I thought.

The truth is, I was an On-Paper Snob. I wanted to rattle off all the really amazing attributes and great things of my AMAZING new boyfriend, to everyone who asked. And I didn’t want a child to be part of that list. I cared too much about what other people thought.

But my boyfriend eventually snagged me, dammit. He was cute and thoughtful with a great big heart, and there was a connection and chemistry that you just can’t ignore. I had a bit of a revolving date door over the previous four years, and hadn’t met many men who I’d had that connection with. Or many men who had pursued ME. Who thought I was the cat’s meow. It was tough to ignore… but I was still a little freaked out. I rarely spent the night at his house on the weekends when we first started dating; I did my own thing nearly every night The Mini was around. My boyfriend was always very understanding about my need for space and time – he still is – and he didn’t push anything on me.

I can’t quite put my finger on the timing, but I eventually said to myself, “Here is a man you care about, and if he has something in his life that is his EVERYTHING (aside from you), you need to get to know this Everything.”

His Everything, of course, was his Mini.

So I eventually started planning stuff for the three of us to do together… I took it day by day. I slowly let myself get to know him a little better. Eventually, I stuck around a bit more. Eventually, it felt less awkward.

And since, it’s shocking, even to me, how much my life this last year or so has been enriched by this little 5-year-old who has a little bit of a lisp and won’t eat anything but pineapple pizza, Eggo’s with butter and tortillas. Who loves pirates, sharks and cars – and Swedish fish and marshmallows. (Kid after my own heart). Who calls me “Jenna” instead of “Jeanna,” making him the only human who has ever made a mispronunciation of my name sound so damn endearing. Who asks where I am all the time, but then acts shy or standoffish sometimes when I’m around. Who likes to “Surprise!” jump on me on the couch, sometimes bruising my ribs, and sleep in his own tent when we camp. Who has eyes and eyelashes that will now and forever make all the girls, including me, swoon. Who has a little personality that grows every day – too stubborn to be talked into anything, even simple things like changing his shoes or what movie to rent, and to sweet and well-behaved to be a child of 6.

And then, there’s the whole bit about listening to your boyfriend read Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs, then sing a little bedtime song. It’s pretty damn cute, not gonna lie.

Sometimes, it’s frustrating and feels like the world isn’t fair. Sometimes there’s drama about his ex, sometimes I feel overwhelmed, but for the most part… it’s good.

I’m not The Mini’s mother. And I might never be even a stepmother. But he IS part of my life, and I am part of his. And for that, right now, I feel lucky.

Happy Birthday Mini!

Currently Feeling: Uber groggy! I need to get up earlier than 10 a.m.
Currently Anticipating: Hitting the road for a weekend away with my besties from high school, their boyfriends, and mine!
Currently Loving: That I won two tickets to a wine event next weekend!

A rare weekend devoid of hangovers

I had quite a lovely couple of days this past weekend. Although I could have done with about 24 more hours per usual, the 48 hours I did have turned out just perfect – with just the right balance of partying, relaxing, friends, boyfriend and staying healthy and active.

Friday I met up with a good college friend at one of my (latest) favorite happy hours – Ascada Bistro. If you’re from Seattle, you should check it out. I think the little place gets lost in the shadow of Peso’s since they always seem to be dead, but they have really great food starting out at $2.99 (including stuffed mushrooms that are to.die.for!), $5 martinis and other drink specials. Plus the atmosphere is there is pretty darn good and allows for easy conversation flow without shouting over music or others. In fact, I like it so much that I’ve been there three times in the last two weeks. Whoops.

Afterward, I headed to TheatreSports in Post Alley for a double date with Bestie Amanda and her new boytoy (I’m unsure if it’s safe to call him a boyfriend yet). The last time I went to TheatreSports was high school, and I’ve been wanting to go back ever since. It’s a live comedy improve competition between two teams – sort of like “Who’s Line is It Anways?” We weren’t allowed to drink in the theater during the show, so my buzz was kinda killed, which effectively made me super tired. BUT, the show was hilarious, and to me there’s nothing quite like a good laugh.

There’s also nothing quite like waking up on Saturday morning without a hang over. I don’t do it often… This past Saturday I bounded out of bed to sunshine filling my entire apartment. My energy is through the roof when it’s sunny (hence why I want to move to Cali). I opened the windows and cooked breakfast while my mind reeled over all the sunny Saturday possibilities. After RUNNING outside in the sunshine (I know. Big shocker. This is the first jog I’ve taken outside in more than a year), I planned a day trip to Vashon Island with my BF and his mini.

The Mini is in love with everything that has to do with boats, sharks, fish, etc, so I figured a ferry boat to an island with beaches and a lighthouse would tickle his fancy. I was right, which felt SO good since I still feel pretty new to this “wooing a 5-year-old” stuff. After the short ride to the island, we stopped at The Vashon Island Coffee Roasterie – an awesome little general store type organic coffee shop that had no less than 100 loose teas to choose from in gigantic jars. (Heaven for me since I’ve been on an anti-coffee, pro-tea kick for the last couple months). We then drove to Point Robinson Park where we combed the beach for seashells. The Mini wanted to take home every seashell he found – “LOOK! OH! MY! GOSH!” he’d shout, and show us a half broken clam shell with seaweed attached. Thing are always 100x more exciting through the eyes of a child…it’s a little humbling. After the park, we stopped at a salmon stand and bought fresh salmon for $9 a pound. I’m super excited to make it this week for dinner, so if any of you have a salmon recipe to share, please do so in the comments or email me. We wrapped up our day trip with pizza and pasta at a little restaurant, which was sorta tacky but had a fireplace to warm up with, so I was content. The whole car ride back, the Mini kept saying, “Can we do this again? When do we get to do this again?” so I felt my island Saturday plan deserved an A+.

And then I wrapped up my entire weekend of being active and healthy with eating about 500 pounds of my homemade caramel corn during the Super Bowl party I attended. Diet FAIL. But oh well, the weekend was over all a SUCCEED, so I’ll just let that one slip this time.

Currently Feeling: Like avoiding a situation that should probably be dealt with.
Currently Anticipating: Getting my workout over with so I can tan and make salmon!
Currently Loving: My new, blonder hair from Bestie Amanda’s awesome balayage.

What can I say, I’m a bit of a girly girl

Lots and lots of fall-time events this past weekend.

I went to a pumpkin patch with the boyfriend, the new roomie and friends on Sunday.

My friend’s older sister expressed her concern to my friend before I showed up, “Does 20-Something know how to, you know, dress for the pumpkin patch? Will she know to wear tennis shoes?” Apparently because I’m almost always dressed up and in heels when my friend’s sister sees me, she thinks I’m one of those dumb girls who would wear heels to a pumpkin patch. Well, I never.

Friend and I had a good laugh about this.

The funny part is, I was without a car and stayed at the boyfriend’s house on the Eastside all weekend. I left my house Saturday morning, without any clothes, change of underwear, make-up and hair product—a dumb move I cursed all weekend. So, I actually did go to the pumpkin patch on Sunday—not by choice or plan—in wedge heels.

I guess I am one of those girls who shows up at a pumpkin patch in heels. How embarrassing.

After the pumpkin patch, I spent hours with my mom at the fabric store, selecting a pattern and fabric for my Halloween costume. (Aren’t you just dying to know what it is – don’t get too excited, it’s not that great. I fear that I out-did myself forever with my costume last year.) We waited in line with about 30 other mothers and their broods of loud, crying children. Half of them were talking to a mystery person on their Blue-Tooth-enabled headset. Perhaps the sixth child, waiting behind a Swinger sewing machine for bolts of fabric to be brought back home, their fingers bandaged and bleeding? Who knows. I overheard a comment from someone working at the store that more people seem to be making their Halloween costume this year. I could chalk it up to the economic crisis, since everything seems to be linked to that these days. But, that theory was blown right out of the water when I rang up the list of items I needed to make my costume–$30 worth of red fringe later (plus all the fabric, zippers, etc.), and I spent just as much as a store-bought costume. No wonder they don’t give those things away.

At least with my red-fringed mystery costume, I won’t be ridiculed for wearing heels in public.

Pickin’ my way through the pumpkin fields in heels

Currently Feeling: Really sick of pulling myself out of bed in the dark.
Currently Anticipating: Picking up the last costume needs tonight at Redlight on Broadway.
Currently Loving: How fantastic our fall weather has been thus far.